Suspicious remark can be insulting

Q — My girlfriend is still friends with a lot of guys from high-school because she used to hang out with her one-year-older brother and his friends.

She has since continued making friends with new guys she meets.

Even though we’re both in our late-20s and are in a relationship, she’ll invite very recently-met men to join us if a group (including her girlfriends) are going to a club.

Two of her male friends have become my good buddies too, and I fully trust their relationships with her, which go back years.

One or the other will sometimes meet her for lunch, but I’ve been asked to join them a couple of times, too.

But how can I trust that some of these new guys aren’t interested in something more with her? Or does she want to keep her options open in case we break up?

Sometimes Suspicious A-Being alert to who is in your girlfriend’s life can be protective in a caring way. But being suspicious, when there are no serious red flags, will eventually create a problem.

You don’t say how long you two have been together, but you do know that her ease with male friends has a long, understandable history through being close with her brother and his friends.

Also, she’s hopefully by now a fairly good judge of male character and may even be trying to set up her girlfriends through her casual invitations adding new single men to the club scene.

Meanwhile, trust your girlfriend. For someone as outgoing as she is, your acting suspicious could be felt as a very hurtful insult.

Besides, nothing you’ve described seems worrisome unless, you’re already feeling insecure about the relationship for other reasons.

Look to the connection between you two: Do you share personal information easily, make contact during the workdays, take time for just being a couple and for intimacy?

Have you discussed a future together, even if you’re not ready to move forward right now?

Focus more on what’s good between you two, not on unsubstantiated fears.

Ellie’s tip of the day: When you view your relationship partner with suspicion, make sure it’s not due to your own insecurity.