Tips for avoiding family conflicts

Q-I’m excited for Christmas but fear that my extended family won’t let me enjoy it!

I watched a documentary on eating healthy and started a plant-based diet four weeks ago. At 39, my digestion and energy are already improved.

My husband and children are very supportive.

But my Dad and uncles will definitely dismiss the diet as nonsense. My Mom and aunts will be upset at my avoiding their festive turkey and ham.

I’m bringing a large salad of greens, beans and peas, assorted cooked veggies and hummus and guacamole dips.

I don’t want a confrontation to spoil the occasion. How should I handle this?

Not A Grinch

A-Smile a lot, and don’t react to the nonsense claim. Eat what you like and keep raising other topics.

If things get uncomfortable, just say, “Relying more on plantbased food is considered better for the planet, which is important for all of your grandchildrens’ future.” Smile.

Dear Readers, Whether it’s about holiday foods or relationship issues, there are so many reasons that people write me at this time of year that I wanted to share some of the season’s positives and, hopefully, help with the negatives.

It’s the wonder of it all that’s connected to this time of year that stirs excitement and happy memories in many people, young and old: The early magic of snow (before it becomes slush), the generous spirit of buying the right gift for people you care about, the aroma of Christmas cookies baking and the scent of a real Christmas tree.

Plus, the family all gathered together.

Okay, that last scenario also lands in the worrying part of both Christmas and New Year is based on expectations that are often unrealistic.

Unfortunately, it’s the family scene (see above) that has some people so sure of a doomed event when their relatives gather in one spot, that they feel anxious, even depressed about this holiday.

It doesn’t have to be that way. If you know for certain that the familiar annual gathering will include comments you can’t accept, like expressing bigotry, homophobia, misogyny or offensive behaviour for some other disturbing reason, do NOT attend.

Instead, feel the true seasonal spirit by helping out at a Christmas dinner for the homeless (check your local house of faith or the Salvation Army), or at a children’s hospital where some kids have families who can’t visit them.

Or, if you want to enjoy a sparkly-bright environment where laughter abounds, go skating on Christmas Eve and follow with hot chocolate and Christmas cake afterwards.

Ellie’s tip of the day: To all, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!