Drug use worries parents

Q- My daughter, 26, and her boyfriend of four years, moved home with us during this pandemic.

Their studio apartment’s very tiny and both are working from

home, so it made sense for them to stay in our big fourbedroom house. We’re all getting along well.

Recently, the boyfriend stayed up all night, drinking, watching movies and falling asleep on the couch.

In the morning, he moved to his bedroom, and my husband found a tightly rolled-up bill where he was sleeping, with a white powdery substance on it – a sure sign of someone doing cocaine.

This young man is very entrepreneurial, educated and successful. We were shocked to see signs of both excessive drinking and drug use.

Do we confront him? Do we tell our daughter?

A big blow-up during this pandemic could be disastrous, but we’re also concerned that this “great guy” may be hiding some habits from our daughter. Or perhaps she knows and looks the other way. Advice please! Ex-Empty-Nester

A– They’re an adult couple who normally live together. Your daughter must be included in any discussion.

She may already know about his alcohol/cocaine use and appreciate the chance to talk about it.

If it’s new information, she needs to hear it.

But how do you and your husband feel about it?

Would you accept that the stress of stay-home orders and worry over COVID-19 moved him to get high by himself when everyone else was asleep?

Or, when living in your home, must he abide by your discouragement of excessive drinking and drug use?

A discussion shouldn’t create a blow-up, unless he or your daughter denies/overreacts.

If there’s openness, you have an important opportunity to show caring concern about him and offer help for him to find other ways to de-stress without his risking increasing substance dependency.