Laughter (next to the vaccine) is the best medicine
We love to make fun of about ourselves.
It’s a Canadian thing that, mercifully, is helping us get through The Covid, as "Dennis King" calls it in an I-dare-you-not-to-smile two minutes on This Hour Has 22 Minutes.
“How’s she goin’ buds. P.E.I. Premier Dennis King here with the Covid h’up date, for the h’Island,” the "premier" begins.
Then it being P.E.I., he continues.
“Kenny Gallant, you got the Covid. John Gallant, no relation, you got the Covid. Melissa Gallant, no relation, got the Covid. And Dave Gallant, no relation, you got the Covid.
“As well, there are two new cases on the h’Island. I’m sorry to say Gladys, if you’re watching, you’ve got the Covid, my love. H’yup.
“You got it offa Gary Gallant. We done the contact tracing, cause Tom’s Mary seen you two holding hands by the bus stop by the purple house. And him just back from Alberta. You shoulda known better, Gladys.”
As we round the corner to the first anniversary of the COVID-19 shutdown, which happened last year in March, making fun of ourselves and The Covid is a welcome break from looking up the sickness scorecard, which was, on the day this is being written:
• One new case on P.E.I.. No public exposure. He is self-isolating.
• A far less cheery 27 new cases in New Brunswick — 14 in shutdown Edmundston and 11 in red-zoned Moncton. So much for shopping at Costco anytime soon.
• But it’s a “keep up the good work” headline for Nova Scotia with no new cases.
The desire to fight back with humour is a hopeful sign as we wait for The Vaccine to help us return life before The Covid.
So after I cackled at the 22 Minutes send-up of Island Covid updates, I went looking for more examples of Canadians laughing at themselves. Here’s a few I found. Feel free to add your own to the list.
• Why did the Canadian cross the road? He saw an American do it on TV.
• How many Oilers fans does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just sit around in the dark and talk about how good the light bulb used to be.
Bet that one comes from Calgary.
• How many Torontonians does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. They hold the bulb up to the socket and wait while the world revolves around them.
OK, that could come from just about anywhere in the country that’s not Toronto. And if you changed it from Toronto to Charlottetown, it could come from anywhere outside the city limits.
• How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb? None. We don’t change lightbulbs, we accept them the way they are.
• How do you get 50 Canadians out of a pool? Say, “Please get out of the pool.”
• How do you get a Canadian to apologize? Step on their foot.
Sorry, I had to include a sorry joke. Sorry.
• And if a Canadian falls in the forest and no one’s around, do they still apologize?
Sorry, I had to include another sorry joke. Sorry.
And we must include at least one or two ‘You might be a Canadian if…” jokes, so here goes: You might be a Canadian if…
• Your municipality buys a Zamboni before it buys a bus.
• You can repeat the entire Molson's Canadian The Rant.
“I’m not a lumberjack, or a fur trader and I don’t live in an igloo, or eat blubber or own a dogsled. And I don’t know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, although I’m certain they’re really, really nice…”
Sorry.
• You have worn shorts and a parka at the same time.
Hey, it was sunny and I had to get the snow off the walk before it turned to ice.
• And your heart skips a beat when you hear the theme song from Hockey Night in Canada.
Isn’t that our national anthem? Sorry.