Friends move apart during pandemic

Q – When the pandemic first hit, a very close friend/neighbour overreacted.

Groceries had to be sanitized in the garage, clothes changed upon entering the house and our morning coffee meetings discontinued (though outside and socially distanced).

I wasn’t allowed into her house despite my being in total isolation.

When she accidentally mentioned a friend, who’d been over for dinner, she quickly added that it’d been on the patio with everyone six feet apart.

Before Christmas, she announced that she and her husband were going to their winter home in Florida.

When I questioned the wisdom of her decision, she said it made no difference where you isolate, and they weren't spending the winter here.

Since going south she has posted photos of them attending outdoor functions and has told people that they’re going for their COVID-19 vaccinations because they can get them in Florida.

I’m angry and hurt that this couple cares only for themselves and is inconsiderate of those they may infect upon their return.

How do I tell them that I can no longer be friends with them?

Beyond Acceptance

A – It’s about individual values, not friendship. These people aren’t alone in taking advantage of ways to care for themselves first.

In some publicized cases, people resort to lying and cheating the system to get into the lineup for a needle jab of vaccine, never mind if it means there’s not enough left for those more needy of protection.

But in cases where people own a home in Florida, where at one point the economyfocused governor invited snowbirds to come get vaccinated there, the picture gets blurred: Do they stay here through winter like the rest of us, while still paying for their property upkeep, even when they could be in the sun, distanced socially, and wearing masks if they choose?

Many have given up that alluring option.

But a considerable number has not, partly because of valid complaints by some Americans about their vaccine allotment being given to noncitizens (though there are apparently exceptions made for property owners).

Your once-close friend/ neighbour has shucked off initial pandemic panic for mefirst survival.

It’s not pretty, but it’s pretty common when the going gets tough for a large population. Some will care about others, others will not.

Focusing on friends who you respect more because of shared values will help you get past caring about what this couple does.

If you still feel angry when they return, tell them you prefer being distanced.