This year, make an effort to listen long and well
For a better workplace, mindfulness is key
Today, as is my tradition, I hand the column over to some of the wise and wonderful folks I interviewed in 2015, letting them share their workplace thoughts and advice as we head into 2016. SHARON SALZBERG Co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society and author of “Real Happiness at Work”
Our cultural focus on starting fresh each new year has most of us fixating on unrealistic goals —“resolutions” — that prioritize perfectionism over self-forgiveness. This can be especially true at work, an area of our lives too often fraught with stress. That’s why I recommend taking this time to set intentions for yourself — something that compassionately acknowledges the ups and downs of the journey toward our goal.
Each morning before work, gently recognize an intention for your day. Perhaps you wish to treat yourself with more kindness. Perhaps you wish to take more time and attention when writing your emails, thereby treating others with more respect.
We can bring fear or judgment into a given situation, or we can instead cultivate positive intentions for ourselves at work.
HEIDI GRANT HALVORSON
Psychologist and author of “No One Understands You and What To Do About It”
I have no idea what other people think of you — but I do know that you don’t know, either. One of the things we have learned from over 50 years of research on perception is that most of the time, we assume other people see us the way we see ourselves. A second thing we’ve learned is that that is hardly ever true.
The reasons why can get a bit complicated, but to put it simply: You have access to lots of information about you (e.g., your thoughts, intentions, feelings, past history) that other people do not have. You know how you mean to come across — they can only guess. And they guess wrong. A lot.
So start your new year off by gaining some vital knowledge about how you are actually coming across. Ask some people who know you well to answer this question: “If I didn’t know you so well, I would think you were ... ?” — the answers could be arrogant, selfish, not very bright, etc.
Then ask them why they think that. KATHLEEN HALL Founder and CEO of the Mindful Living Network
Practicing mindfulness in your workplace will benefit your company culture along with helping your bottom line. Mindfulness has moved to the mainstream in many Fortune 500 companies.
Through mindfulness, business leaders learn how to adapt to the ever-changing marketplace with greater flexibility, better listening skills, more innovation, greater clarity and focus. They learn how to create a mindful workplace that enhances the company’s value to employees, shareholders and stakeholders.
Mindfulness helps reduce stress, decrease burnout, reduce absenteeism and improve teamwork.
Mindful business leaders inspire their staff to engage in simple practices such as taking moments for silence and reflection, encouraging acts of kindness, being respectful to others, inspiring curiosity, practicing gratitude and rewarding community building. CHRIS LONG Assistant professor of management at Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business
If you want to transform your leadership capabilities and stature in the coming year, focus on two things: voice and transparency.
Giving voice means you actively seek out feedback from others about the issues that are important to you and/or your organization. This year, challenge the people around you to provide you their unfiltered, authentic and honest opinions on an ongoing basis.
Really listen to what they say, process it, and commit to making the changes that you know need to happen.
As you make those changes, be transparent. Let those who have provided you feedback know how you have used their critiques. Also, let them know what you did not use and why. The key is to show others that it is safe to tell you what they think and that you do listen to their ideas! AVRAHAM KLUGER Professor of organizational behaviour at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem
If you want to give a gift for yourself and for the people around you, make a resolution to learn (and fail along the way) to become a better listener. Start with the following three steps:
1) Watch Oprah Winfrey interview Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh about listening.
2) Choose someone that you typically do not listen well to and let that person know that you are practicing listening. For five minutes, listen to the person using only nods and “ah-hah” to indicate that you follow.
3) Ask one person to tell you a story — the story could be about the meaning of their name, the origins of their family, their childhood hero, traditions they like or any topic you can invent. Insist on hearing the story with specific details.
After these three steps, you will be ready to commit to your resolution. STEW FRIEDMAN Management professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and author of “Leading the Life You Want: Skills for Integrating Work and Life”
Most people think the key to success is single-minded devotion to work. But it’s not true.
The most successful people do not forsake their families, communities, and private lives (mind, body, and spirit); to the contrary, they discover — through conscious trial and error over the course of their lives — creative ways to embrace and thereby derive strength from these other commitments. LOU SOLOMON CEO of Interact Authentic Communication
People who really listen are wonderful to be with because they make us grow taller, smarter and funnier. Have you noticed that when you’re with someone who listens deeply you have more interesting things to say?
Today, listening is more important than ever because we’re so hungry for moments that make sense. We’re living with mesmerizing devices, which can undermine the way we experience one another at the human level.
Too often the casualty is good old, messy and miraculous conversation that opens understanding.
In the new year, resolve to be more intentional. Notice when people need your complete attention and offer a meaningful moment of listening. We will all be better for it.