On the eight ways of Browner …
Who needs the 12 Days of Christmas when you can have the Eight Ways of Browner? Brandon Browner, that is — the Saints cornerback who has amassed 24 penalties (21 accepted) in 2015, the most in one season since the NFL started tracking individual flags in 1999. Let us count the ex-CFL player’s ways, as compiled by The Sporting News:
11 defensive holding ...
3 pass interference ...
3 unnecessary roughness ...
3 ... face mask ... flags!
1 illegal hands ...
1 illegal block ...
1 offsides call ...
And 1 illegal-contact penalty!
HEADLINES
At SportsPickle.com: “Danny Amendola pretty sure who his Secret Santa is after receiving a ninth pair of UGGs.”
At TheOnion.com: “Ethical hunter throws duck he shot back into sky.”
FALL CLASSIC
Robert Nkemdiche, Ole Miss’s star defensive tackle, got suspended for the Sugar Bowl and charged with marijuana possession after he plummeted out of a fourth-floor hotel window. So he actually fell twice, if you want to include his NFL draft stock.
FOOTBALL FOLLIES
The strangest football sequence this past week was:
Cowboys QB Matt Cassel getting called for intentional grounding — on a pass that was intercepted.
Chargers QB Philip Rivers throwing an interception, the interceptor coughing it up on the return — and Rivers recovering the fumble.
Western Kentucky having to punt on fourth-and-goal in the Miami Beach Bowl — after a personal-foul penalty and two sacks put the ball on the 38.
POLITICAL FOOTBALL
GOP also-ran Lindsey Graham finally dropped out of the race for president. Apparently he wanted an easier challenge for 2016 — like getting the 49ers to Super Bowl 50.
TALKING THE TALK
Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on the most incredible part about Drew Brees becoming the fourth NFL quarterback to amass 60,000 yards passing: “He did it without throwing against the Saints’ defence.”
Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World Herald, after the wrong winner was declared at the Miss Universe Pageant: “I’m pretty sure the old BCS committee was somehow involved.”
Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle, to ESPN, on forward Chandler Parsons’ arduous rehab work after off-season knee surgery: “Everybody wants a nice cooked steak, but nobody wants to see you chopping up the cows in the back.”
NET GAIN DEPT.
Andy Murray says he will leave next month’s Australian Open early if his expectant wife — due in mid-February — goes into labour prematurely. No word on whether it’ll be a girl, a boy or even mixed doubles.