So why does he have nothing to say at news conferences?
Mike Leach’s next book, it’s safe to say, won’t be titled “The Joy of Text.” “Nobody talks to people anymore,” the Washington State football coach told reporters at Pac-12 media days. “I mean, there’s people (who) won’t even talk face to face. They’ll go across the room and text each other. I think it’s actually kind of disturbing. “I think the days before cellphones, when it was dirt-clod wars at construction sites, was a lot more wholesome and productive, to be perfectly honest.” •At TheOnion.com: “Retiring Tim Duncan provides Spurs with forwarding address for his subscription to ‘The Economist.’” •At TheKicker.com: “ESPYs give Courage Award to anyone who can still watch Chris Berman.” Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger is about to become a father for the eighth time — at age 72. Jagger attributes his virility to clean living and his lucky Antonio Cromartie jersey. “It was organic. It was authentic,” said Thunder forward: a) Kevin Durant, on his free-agent welcome from the Warriors. b) Mitch McGary, on the marijuana that landed him a five-game ban. Talk about bad timing: July 14 was National Hot Dog Day, and our Manny Ramirez jersey was in the wash. Ravens kicker Justin Tucker was described as “disillusioned” before finally settling on a new contract. Translation: The Ravens kicked in another million or so. •Comedian Argus Hamilton, after Democratic runner-up Bernie Sanders finally endorsed Hillary Clinton for president: “The old socialist looked a little out of sorts. He’s still upset that the team with the most points just won the NBA Finals.” •Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, after two San Diego men walked off a beach cliff playing Pokemon Go: “‘I’ll get them eventually,’ said Charles Darwin.” •Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) WorldHerald, after WWE suspended rassler Roman Reigns for 30 days: “Considering you can win a WWE title by hitting a guy from behind with a folding chair, what do you have to do to get suspended?” Among the culinary fare at Diamondbacks games this season: a two-pound, 3,540calorie sundae with 15 ingredients, yours for only $25. Which means the baseball team isn’t the only thing at Chase Field that’s tough to stomach.