SPORTING LIFE News you need to get through the day …
SIDELINE CHATTER: There was something fishy about his paycheque
Talk about a bad swim move. NFL linebacker Brandon Spikes got his paycheque garnished this past season, the Buffalo News reported, because he didn’t pay a company called The Fish Guy $4,045 for hauling his aquarium and tropical fish from Rhode Island to Buffalo in 2014 after he signed with the Bills.
HEADLINES
• At TheOnion.com: “NFL adds passing concussion protocol to Pro Bowl Skills Competition.” • At TheKicker.com: “Report: Usain Bolt still has relay gold because IOC can’t catch him.”
THAT’S SNOW BIZ
Three-time X-Games gold medallist Daniel Bodin, 31, achieved a global first — a double back flip on a snowmobile — near his home in Malung, Sweden. On the downside, the Russian judge docked him a 10th of a point for a slight wobble on the landing.
HOW BIG OF THEM
The 49ers announced they will hold the line on season-ticket prices for the next two seasons. Hey, it’s better than freezing their won-lost record.
BREAK A LEG
Margot Robbie has been cast in the role of disgraced figure skater Tonya Harding in the upcoming biopic “I, Tonya.” Giddy critics are already predicting they’ll give it get two clubs up.
TALKING THE TALK
• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on the wife of Falcons guard Andy Levitre going into labour but staying for the entire playoff game against the Seahawks: “I think we have our first female captain of the All-Madden Team.” • Patriots tight end Martellus Bennett, to Yahoo.com, on NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell failing to attend a game in Foxborough the past two seasons since Deflategate: “Where is he? He’s like ‘Where’s Waldo?’ right now.” • Trainer Helen Smith, to the London Sun, on a side benefit of the nude exercise class she runs in Southampton: “You don’t have to think about washing sweaty gym clothes.”
GOOD NEWS BARES
Several L.A. County businesses stepped forward to help bail out the struggling Lennox Little League, including a $1,200 donation from the Jet Strip club. What, you’ve never seen a baseball field with brass foul poles before?
JETTING TO THE UK?
President Trump has nominated Jets owner Woody Johnson to be his ambassador to the United Kingdom. As for Johnson’s odds of getting confirmed by the Senate, predictions widely ranged from “as good as a Joe Namath guarantee” to “as bad as a Mark Sanchez butt-fumble.”
MORE HEADLINES
• Posted on Community Baptist Church’s readerboard in Fallbrook, Calif.: “God will never forsake you — unlike the Chargers.” • At Fark.com: “Adrian Peterson says he’s down to three teams whose IR he’d like to be on next season.”
QUOTE MARKS
• Kevin Clark of TheRinger.com, on how injuries to QBs Derek Carr and Ryan Tannehill, among others, affected this year’s NFL playoffs: “By the time the playoffs started, they had only a fraction of their usual star power. Think Saved by the Bell: The College Years.” • RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, on four 30-somethings reaching the finals at the Australian Open: “On display were tennis’ greatest forehands, backhands and old hands.” • Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on Seahawks assistant coach Rocky Seto leaving the NFL to enter the ministry: “If he really wants to be around a lot of people praying every Sunday, he should join the 49ers.”
EVEN MORE HEADLINES
• At TheKicker.com: “Raiders file paperwork to leave Connor Cook in Oakland.” • At SportsPickle.com: “NFL geneticists working on developing ligament-free player.”
THE WRITE STUFF
• Comic Torben Rolfsen, on Tim Raines and Joan Baez both getting Hall of Fame calls: “There’s more rock in Cooperstown’s 2017 inductees than Cleveland’s.” • Bob Molinaro, in the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot, looking forward to the next nine-week run of “Curling Night in America” on NBCSN: “Canada’s finest export to America since Neil Young. Or if you prefer, William Shatner.” • Blogger TC Chong, on Johnny Manziel’s autograph booth during Super Bowl week: “He is charging $99 to sign items people bring. So far no NFL teams plan to bring a contract.” • Brown University basketball player Steven Spieth — the younger brother of golf star Jordan — when ESPN asked what he hears from the stands when he launches a shot on the road: “Fore!”