Earl Camp­bell talks as tough as he played

The Hamilton Spectator - - SPORTS - DWIGHT PERRY

Present-day NFL play­ers, be warned: Stay off Earl Camp­bell’s lawn! “We all know, now that we’re grown men, that wrestling’s fake,” the Hall of Fame run­ning back, 61, told USA To­day. “Well, football is not played like it was when I played. “‘I can’t play be­cause I’ve got a hang­nail on my toe. I can’t play be­cause I didn’t get a pedi­cure this week . ... ’ That wouldn’t have got the job done back in my day.”

HEAD­LINES

At TheOnion.com: “Fans gather at air­port to greet carry crates con­tain­ing Puppy Bowl win­ners.”

At Fark.com: “Michael Vick to re­tire from NFL; in other news, Michael Vick was still in the NFL.”

SOME­THING OLD DEPT.

Valdemira Ro­drigues de Oliveira of Pras­su­nunga, Brazil, an­nounced she’s en­gaged to be mar­ried for the first time — at age 106. Hey, if the Cubs can wait 108 years to get a ring, what’s a mere 106?

HOLD THE PHONE

Saints coach Sean Payton says he might re­sort to scram­bling tac­tics to jam phone sig­nals and keep his play­ers off so­cial me­dia be­fore games. Code name: Op­er­a­tion Tarken­ton.

HELP WANTED

CheatSheet.com just came out with its “10 job skills that will get you hired in 2017.” In the NFL, as usual, it’s deep-snap­per, wedge-buster and free-agent quar­ter­back.

BAD NEWS, BEARS

Bay­lor fired newly-hired as­sis­tant strength coach Bran­don Wash­ing­ton af­ter he was ar­rested and charged with so­lic­it­ing a pros­ti­tute. Or, as Waco apol­o­gists pre­fer to call it, “poor re­cruit­ing.”

TALK­ING THE TALK

RJ Cur­rie of Sport­sDeke.com, on re­ports that the film­ing of Puppy Bowl XI was hin­dered by dogs con­tin­u­ally uri­nat­ing and defe­cat­ing on the field: “And Richard Sher­man calls Thurs­day games a poopfest?”

NBC’s Jimmy Fal­lon, on news that the 2020 Tokyo Olympics will craft their medals from re­cy­cled cell­phones: “Well, they’re go­ing to make the Olympic torch out of a Sam­sung Galaxy.”

Big 12 com­mis­sioner Bob Bowlsby, to ESPN, on the Bay­lor football mess: “I think ev­ery­body’s pretty much in the bar­rel, but I don’t know if any­body knows where the bot­tom of the bar­rel is.”

PLY­ING THEIR TRADE

Destined to be a best­seller in San Diego: Cus­tom toi­let pa­per with the like­ness of Dean Spanos on it. Who says the Charg­ers’ in­ef­fec­tual owner can’t get on a roll?

MORE HEAD­LINES

At TheOnion.com: “Of­fi­cial sprints through gi­ant in­flat­able ref­eree hat to take field for Su­per Bowl.”

At TheKicker.com: “Kyle Shana­han named head coach of the first half of 49ers games.”

THIS SPELLS TROU­BLE

The Aus­tralian Open fea­tured a match be­tween Anas­ta­sia Sergeyevna Pav­lyuchenkova and Natalia Kon­stanti­novna Vikhlyant­seva. The match was cheered by their fel­low Rus­sians and booed by the Na­tional As­so­ci­a­tion of One-Col­umn Head­line Writ­ers.

STAT OF THE WEEK

From ESPN: Since 2001, NFL teams that trailed by at least 25 points in the first three quar­ters are 3-391 in such games.

WORD GAMES

World Scrab­ble cham­pion Brett Smitheram of Eng­land wants to get his spe­cialty added as an Olympic event. In keep­ing with the theme, in­stead of medals would win­ners be awarded var­sity let­ters in­stead of let­ters?

QUOTE MARKS

Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., on NBA All-Star Week­end’s Taco Bell Skills Chal­lenge: “What does that mean, spec­ta­tors have to watch a power for­ward put to­gether a chalupa?”

Pa­tri­ots coach Bill Belichick, to re­porters, on the down­side of win­ning his record fifth Su­per Bowl: “We’re five weeks be­hind the other teams for the 2017 sea­son.”

Com­edy writer Alex Kase­berg, on why no Fal­cons have an air­tight al­ibi in the dis­ap­pear­ance of Tom Brady’s Su­per Bowl jersey: “They didn’t have Brady’s num­ber all day.”

Jan­ice Hough of LeftCoastS­port­sBabe.com, on Tom Brady’s miss­ing Su­per Bowl jersey: “Any­one asked Putin?”

Reader Jim Cor­ri­gan, to the Cleve­land Plain Dealer, on LeBron James’ No. 1 critic: “When will Charles Barkley be­come known around the NBA as the ‘Round An­chor of Ran­cor’”

Brad Dick­son of the Omaha (Neb.) WorldHer­ald, af­ter star tight end Rob Gronkowski spiked a beer dur­ing the Pa­tri­ots’ Su­per Bowl pa­rade: “This is why I like football. You’d never see this at the No­bel Prize awards cer­e­mony.”

NBC’s Jimmy Fal­lon, af­ter a snow­storm closed Bos­ton pub­lic schools on Thurs­day: “Kids in Bos­ton are like, ‘Are you kid­ding? We haven’t been in school since the Pa­tri­ots won the Su­per Bowl!’”

SPORTS QUIZ

Pa­tri­ots QB Tom Brady was strongly urged to re­tire last week by: A) his wife, Gisele Bund­chen B) the 31 other NFL teams

KICK­ING HIM­SELF

USC has sus­pended kicker Matt Bo­er­meester amid an in­ves­ti­ga­tion of a “code of con­duct is­sue.” Which brings to mind a kicker we once knew. His eyes went wide right dur­ing a midterm exam.

ERIC RISBERG, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

OK, so maybe win­ning the Su­per Bowl, again, did put the Pa­tri­ots be­hind in pre­par­ing for 2107, but,come on, this is Peb­ble Beach.

DMITRI LOVETSKY, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

What pos­si­bly could the Na­tional As­so­ci­a­tion of One-Col­umn Head­line Writ­ers have against Natalia?

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