Dr. Jean Clinton gets into your teenager’s head
‘We’ve learned that tough love is not the way to go with kids’
Renowned youth mental health specialist Dr. Jean Clinton is hoping to help parents demystify their teens’ behaviour.
Clinton will be hosting a talk Wednesday evening entitled “The Adolescent Brain Under Construction” to share her recent findings on adolescent brain development, including how environment and experience play key roles during the teenage years.
The Spectator spoke with Clinton to discuss how parents can better understand their adolescent kids.
What makes a teen’s brain special?
I think the No. 1 thing we need to understand is that it’s not a mini-adult brain, and in fact it’s under construction. There are major changes of pruning and specialization that are going on in these years that we didn’t know much about before.
What effects does this have on the personality of a teenager?
The areas don’t all develop at the same time, so the emotional area is getting refined before the planning area. So what you might see are more impulses, more mood changes, more worries about what other people are thinking about them. Maybe the biggest one is the risktaking
that we see at that age.
How can parents apply this information to their interactions with their teen?
The first thing is to understand that the kids aren’t doing these wild things, or wanting to be with their friends more, on purpose to reject the parents — but that they’re driven biologically to do more experimentation. Parents shouldn’t be blaming themselves or thinking that they don’t need to build the relationships in the same kind of way that they did as little ones. That’s key.
The other one is to have conversations about risk-taking and how they can make sure that there are opportunities for safer risk-taking. Engage them in sports that can meet that fix, if you like.
What about mental illness? Are there any warning signs that parents should be aware of ?
What we know is that 70 to 75 per cent of mental illnesses start in childhood and adolescence. It’s not 100 per cent known why — what’s thought is kind of as the brain is changing, and being affected by experiences, when there’s moving parts, that there’s more vulnerability.
If parents are seeing a significant change in their young person’s behaviour, if they’re spending more time in their room, they’re more sullen, they’re not enjoying life as much — don’t think “this is just teen behaviour” and think about what might be going on.
The other big thing is not to assume that the message that we often get from the media that “kids aren’t going to talk to you” is correct. You should keep up dialogue and conversation, because we know that kids who have positive relationships with their parents do better.
What should parents keep in mind when parenting a teen?
Sleep is very changed in adolescence. The thirst or the drive for sleep gets moved to a later time. The irony is that they’re not sleepy until midnight or thereabouts, but they need more sleep than adults do — nine and a quarter hours of sleep. So they’re chronically sleep-deprived, so you kind of wonder the impact that has on relationships as well.
Relationships (between parents and teens) really, really matter — hanging in for them and saying, “I know this is a tough time, and this is a confusing time, but I’m here no matter what time of day or night. I’m there for you.” Continuing to be fully present for your kids is really important.
We’ve learned that tough love is not the way to go with kids — but be firm, be fair, be consistent and be there.
Continuing to be fully present for your kids is really important DR. JEAN CLINTON