toolbox/family

Saying goodbye to your grown children without falling apart.

Raising children is one of the greatest ironies of life.

Consider this: before they exist, you’re free as a lark. And pregnancy seems like a breeze compared to the day you bring your baby home. Life as you know it changes completely as you begin to realize the enormity of what you’ve done. This little person relies on you 24 hours a day, seven days a week, for his or her very survival. No wonder the government calls them dependents.

Then, just when you’re getting the hang of this parenting thing—heck, you may be even beginning to like it—they’re gone. The ungrateful rubes have flown the coop to start their own lives. The nest you’ve taken such care to feather echoes with every footstep and no one complains that there’s nothing in the fridge to eat.

Some parents breathe a huge sigh of relief when the front door slams shut for the last time. But many feel a yawning emptiness that we think can never be filled again. We aren’t needed anymore! All the nagging, the reminding, the passive aggressive comments now fall on deaf ears!

Therapists warn that this time of your life can be devastating. Google ‘empty-nest syndrome’ and you’ll discover masses of information about grieving your role as a parent.

But like everything else that’s hard in life, this, too, shall pass. And in the meantime, here are some tips that may ease the transition. t ,OPX UIBU ZPV XJMM CF TBE *U T UIF FOE PG B XIPMF QIBTF PG

your life. Like it or not, we define ourselves as moms and when that’s over, it’s natural to feel unnecessary and unwanted. t 3FTJTU UIF VSHF UP DBMM BOE UFYU ZPVS LJET JODFTTBOUMZ 5IFZ SF

grownups now, no matter that you still see them in diapers. They’ll be in touch when they find the time. You don’t want them to resent you. Respect their space. t ,FFQ PME USBEJUJPOT BMJWF :PVS LJET XJMM MPWF UP DPNF IPNF

for their favourite major holidays. They’ll find the rituals comforting as they chase down their dreams. t &YQMPSF ZPVS OFX GSFFEPN 5SBWFM 4FF UIF XPSME 5BLF VQ

a new sport! A hobby! Do all the things you would have done if only you hadn’t all these people relying on you.

Finally, remember: if you’ve done your job correctly, your children are supposed to leave. Good work!