(NOT SO) Deep thoughts

Some pre-coffee thoughts on a Saturday morning …

NORTH OF THE BORDER

This may have been the most-Canadian week ever. A trapped beaver was rescued in Hamilton, a musical about Terry Fox and his Marathon of Hope is about to open in Cambridge, and Tim Hortons reported bigger-than-expected profits at its stores. If we could’ve somehow convinced Wayne Gretzky to enter a maple syrup-drinking contest during a snowstorm while listening to Anne Murray, we might have raised Lucy Maud Montgomery from the dead.

WHO IS CANADIAN?

Speaking of Canadians, if you prefer to cheer locally the rest of the way in the playoffs, you’ll need to know that Edmonton and Ottawa aren’t just the remaining Canadian teams, they’re the remaining most-Canadian teams. Each has 19 homegrown players on its roster. St. Louis is next with 15 followed by Anaheim at 14, Nashville at 12 and Pittsburgh at 10.

New York and Washington have the fewest Canadian players with nine each.

BEST BUDS

With so many people talking so glowingly about the Toronto Maple Leafs’ progress this season, here are the best five Hamiltonians ever to play for the Buds. 1. Dave Andreychuk 2. Murray Oliver 3. Pat Quinn 4. Don Edwards 5. Derek King Babe Dye would’ve been at the top of the list — he was the league’s leading scorer three times in the 1920s — but despite being born here, he left the city as an infant. So including him would be a tad desperate.

COVER UP THOSE ROOKS

The world of sports is littered with endless weird and obscure rules. However, at the top of the list must be the requirement that female chess players in the European championships not attempt to distract their opponents with too much cleavage. The top two buttons may be undone as per edict. The rest must be done up.

CSI OTTAWA

Something like 2,000 seats were empty at the Ottawa Senators game on Thursday night. For a second-round playoff game. In Canada. No word yet if owner Eugene Melnyk will claim a conspiracy and launch a forensic investigation to explain the vast swaths of vacancies.

SLIDE RULE

That endlessly replayed — and rightly so — dive at home plate by Chris Coughlin in Tuesday’s Blue Jays game is probably the greatest “slide” in Blue Jays’ history. The worst? It’s a tie. Contender No. 1 is Todd Stottlemyre’s chin-first slide in the 1993 World Series that left him bloody. The other option came from one-time DH Cliff Johnson who tried to slide head-first into third base once upon a time but left his feet way too early and ground to a halt about three feet short of the base. The opposing third baseman simply walked over to him and tagged him on the helmet, laughing.

EVERYBODY HURTS

Once upon a time, Bobby Baun playing a game on a broken ankle sounded like a big deal and a heroic effort. But after hearing Joe Thornton played on a torn MCL and ACL, Erik Karlsson is playing on two fractures in his heel and Zach Werenski returned to action — until out-of-control swelling forced him off the ice — after stopping a shot with his face and suffering a gruesome gash and broken bones, it sounds more like just par for the course in the Stanley Cup playoffs.

SHOCKINGLY, NO COYOTES

Over the past 100 years, animals are beating natural disasters 15-5 in the Stanley Cup race. The Victoria Cougars (1), Boston Bruins (6), Pittsburgh Penguins (4), New Jersey Devils (3) and Anaheim Ducks (1) have all won the trophy for the animal side while the Carolina Hurricanes (1), Tampa Bay Lightning (1), Colorado Avalanche (2) and Calgary Flames (1) have responded for the disasters.

Three animals remain in the mix this year (Predators, Ducks, Penguins) but the disasters have all been averted.