He might have got­ten away with it if the fin­ish line was red

The Hamilton Spectator - - SPORTS - DWIGHT PERRY Tri­bune News Ser­vice

Drug-sniff­ing dogs? No kid­ding! A greyhound-rac­ing trainer in St. Petersburg, Fla., had his li­cence re­voked af­ter five of his charges tested pos­i­tive for co­caine. Track of­fi­cials sus­pected some­thing was amiss when his dogs kept stop­ping to snort up the fin­ish line.


At Sport­sPickle.com: “ESPN an­nounces new hockey re­porter: a link to NHL.com.”

At TheKicker.com: “NBA in­tro­duces penalty box for Celtics-Wizards se­ries.”


Quickie scout­ing re­port on cor­ner­back Mike Tyson, the Sea­hawks’ sec­ond-round draft pick:

Tyson doesn’t care about stats — he just wants a ring.

He’s try­ing to break a bad habit of bit­ing on dou­ble moves.

Tyson’s new Seat­tle team­mates, not tak­ing any chances, plan to keep their hel­mets on for a while.


Life­long Mets fan Roy Riegel — whose cre­mated re­mains have been flushed down 16 ball­park toi­lets around the coun­try as a tribute by a child­hood friend — grew up near the Mets’ present home, Flush­ing Mead­ows.


King’s Col­lege Lon­don Den­tal In­sti­tute, cit­ing a sur­vey of 11,000 pa­tients, claims that a pro­found fear of den­tistry: a) can sab­o­tage a per­son’s phys­i­o­log­i­cal, psy­cho­log­i­cal, so­cial and emo­tional well-be­ing b) is the main rea­son Bri­tain can’t field an Olympic hockey team.


“Don­key Kong” is among four new in­ductees into the World Video Game Hall of Fame in Rochester, N.Y. Pun­dits pre­dict there won’t be a dry eye in the place when Mario and Luigi de­liver his in­duc­tion speech.


Last Sun­day’s Cubs-Red Sox game in­cluded what ap­peared to be a failed mar­riage pro­posal on the Fen­way Park videoboard. But the foiled groom-to-be, un­de­terred, is al­ready hatch­ing plans to line up Colin Kaeper­nick to take a knee for him.


NASCAR driver Dan­ica Pa­trick’s No. 10 car will sport a “Won­der Woman” paint scheme in races May 13 and 20 to help hype the up­com­ing movie’s June 2 de­but. So what’s next — Dale Jr. driv­ing the Bat­mo­bile?


April 30, in case you missed it, was Na­tional Hon­esty Day No­tice it didn’t fall on any of the days lead­ing up to the NFL draft.


Mike Bianchi of the Or­lando (Fla.) Sen­tinel, af­ter the QB-needy Browns failed to draft one with any of their three first-round picks: “This is like the home­less man who wins the lot­tery and buys ev­ery­thing but a new home.”

Com­edy writer Alex Kase­berg, on Ryan Seacrest’s in­tro­duc­tion as Kelly Ripa’s new TV co-host: “He ran out in be­tween the gap in Michael Stra­han’s front teeth.”

Blue Jays pitcher Marco Estrada, to ESPN.com, on team­mate Chris Cogh­lan’s in­cred­i­ble leap over Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina to score a run: “It was like I saw a uni­corn or some­thing.”


Or­lando City’s star for­ward Kaka tops Ma­jor League Soc­cer with a $7.2-mil­lion salary this sea­son. Which also means ev­ery other MLS player gets to right­fully com­plain he’s not mak­ing Kaka.


At TheKicker.com: “Isa­iah Thomas pe­ti­tions league to just skip to 4th quar­ter from now on.”

At TheOnion.com: “Re­tired ice-rink man­ager re­calls days of horse-led Zam­bo­nis.”


Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., af­ter a girl was kicked out of a chess tour­na­ment in Malaysia be­cause she wore a “se­duc­tive” knee-length dress: “Are they se­ri­ous? If she re­ally wanted to arouse a room full of chess-play­ing geeks, she would have come in car­ry­ing a fully op­er­a­tional lightsabre.”

Eric Kolenich of the Rich­mond (Va.) TimesDis­patch, on Lonzo Ball fail­ing to land a big-bucks-en­dorse­ment deal with Nike, Un­der Ar­mour or Adi­das be­cause of his daddy’s grand­stand­ing: “The best business move for Lonzo might be to change his name. Or ask his fa­ther to.”

Co­nan O’Brien of TBS, on Los An­ge­les’ bid to host the 2024 Olympics: “So if you want to at­tend one of the events in L.A., you should get on the free­way now.”

Jan­ice Hough of LeftCoastS­port­sBabe.com, on the $495 ask­ing price for the “ZO2: Prime” Lonzo Ball sneak­ers: “So does the shoe come with a shirt for your sig­nif­i­cant other say­ing, ‘I’m with stupid?’”

Scott Ostler of the San Fran­cisco Chron­i­cle, siz­ing up the Bay Area teams’ NFL draft re­sults: “The Raiders got the up­per hand on the 49ers in the first round. The Raiders’ guy re­port­edly passed a poly­graph test, the 49ers’ guy flunked a drug test. Smell test? Re­sults pend­ing.”

Bob Moli­naro in the Nor­folk Vir­gini­anPilot, on the Spurs’ 39-year-old Manu Gi­no­bili: “Gi­no­bili has floor burns older than most of the guys he goes up against.”

Steve Sim­mons of the Toronto Sun, with an­other rea­son to like Maple Leafs rookie sen­sa­tion Aus­ton Matthews: “In the stands at the Rogers Cen­tre Satur­day af­ter­noon, he didn’t par­tic­i­pate in the wave.”


Or­lando City has $7.2-mil­lion of Kaka this sea­son.


So, LaVar, do those shoes come with a spe­cial T-shirt?

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