He might have gotten away with it if the finish line was red
Drug-sniffing dogs? No kidding! A greyhound-racing trainer in St. Petersburg, Fla., had his licence revoked after five of his charges tested positive for cocaine. Track officials suspected something was amiss when his dogs kept stopping to snort up the finish line.
At SportsPickle.com: “ESPN announces new hockey reporter: a link to NHL.com.”
At TheKicker.com: “NBA introduces penalty box for Celtics-Wizards series.”
COVER YOUR EARS
Quickie scouting report on cornerback Mike Tyson, the Seahawks’ second-round draft pick:
Tyson doesn’t care about stats — he just wants a ring.
He’s trying to break a bad habit of biting on double moves.
Tyson’s new Seattle teammates, not taking any chances, plan to keep their helmets on for a while.
COINCIDENCE OF THE WEEK
Lifelong Mets fan Roy Riegel — whose cremated remains have been flushed down 16 ballpark toilets around the country as a tribute by a childhood friend — grew up near the Mets’ present home, Flushing Meadows.
King’s College London Dental Institute, citing a survey of 11,000 patients, claims that a profound fear of dentistry: a) can sabotage a person’s physiological, psychological, social and emotional well-being b) is the main reason Britain can’t field an Olympic hockey team.
TWO THUMBS UP
“Donkey Kong” is among four new inductees into the World Video Game Hall of Fame in Rochester, N.Y. Pundits predict there won’t be a dry eye in the place when Mario and Luigi deliver his induction speech.
Last Sunday’s Cubs-Red Sox game included what appeared to be a failed marriage proposal on the Fenway Park videoboard. But the foiled groom-to-be, undeterred, is already hatching plans to line up Colin Kaepernick to take a knee for him.
OUT OF HER WAY!
NASCAR driver Danica Patrick’s No. 10 car will sport a “Wonder Woman” paint scheme in races May 13 and 20 to help hype the upcoming movie’s June 2 debut. So what’s next — Dale Jr. driving the Batmobile?
TRUTH BE TOLD
April 30, in case you missed it, was National Honesty Day Notice it didn’t fall on any of the days leading up to the NFL draft.
TALKING THE TALK
Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, after the QB-needy Browns failed to draft one with any of their three first-round picks: “This is like the homeless man who wins the lottery and buys everything but a new home.”
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, on Ryan Seacrest’s introduction as Kelly Ripa’s new TV co-host: “He ran out in between the gap in Michael Strahan’s front teeth.”
Blue Jays pitcher Marco Estrada, to ESPN.com, on teammate Chris Coghlan’s incredible leap over Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina to score a run: “It was like I saw a unicorn or something.”
Orlando City’s star forward Kaka tops Major League Soccer with a $7.2-million salary this season. Which also means every other MLS player gets to rightfully complain he’s not making Kaka.
At TheKicker.com: “Isaiah Thomas petitions league to just skip to 4th quarter from now on.”
At TheOnion.com: “Retired ice-rink manager recalls days of horse-led Zambonis.”
Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., after a girl was kicked out of a chess tournament in Malaysia because she wore a “seductive” knee-length dress: “Are they serious? If she really wanted to arouse a room full of chess-playing geeks, she would have come in carrying a fully operational lightsabre.”
Eric Kolenich of the Richmond (Va.) TimesDispatch, on Lonzo Ball failing to land a big-bucks-endorsement deal with Nike, Under Armour or Adidas because of his daddy’s grandstanding: “The best business move for Lonzo might be to change his name. Or ask his father to.”
Conan O’Brien of TBS, on Los Angeles’ bid to host the 2024 Olympics: “So if you want to attend one of the events in L.A., you should get on the freeway now.”
Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on the $495 asking price for the “ZO2: Prime” Lonzo Ball sneakers: “So does the shoe come with a shirt for your significant other saying, ‘I’m with stupid?’”
Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, sizing up the Bay Area teams’ NFL draft results: “The Raiders got the upper hand on the 49ers in the first round. The Raiders’ guy reportedly passed a polygraph test, the 49ers’ guy flunked a drug test. Smell test? Results pending.”
Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk VirginianPilot, on the Spurs’ 39-year-old Manu Ginobili: “Ginobili has floor burns older than most of the guys he goes up against.”
Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun, with another reason to like Maple Leafs rookie sensation Auston Matthews: “In the stands at the Rogers Centre Saturday afternoon, he didn’t participate in the wave.”
Orlando City has $7.2-million of Kaka this season.
So, LaVar, do those shoes come with a special T-shirt?