Overscheduled kids: is busy really so bad?
Educators, parents make case for busy lifestyle, in era of digital temptation
Tennis, soccer and track. Piano and band. Throw in the additional commitment of weekly Sunday school, and it sounds like a lot, especially to anyone who was raised to just go outside and play.
But here’s what I’ve found: even with weekday aftercare until at least 6 p.m., the demands of homework, regular reading, a pretty busy social calendar and a pet, there remains enough downtime in my 9-year-old daughter’s life that I still have to restrict screen time.
If there’s one parenting cliché more common than that of the overbooked child whose spare time is filled with sports practice, tutoring sessions and music lessons, it’s the one about the pasty kid who languishes in front of video games starved for exercise, fresh air and human contact.
Considering that alternative, is being busy so bad?
Many educators, researchers as well as exasperated parents are embracing the benefits of the scheduled lifestyle, especially in this day of so much digital temptation.
“Downtime has become screen time,” argues Delaney Ruston, an internal medicine doctor and filmmaker who created “Screenagers,” a 2016 documentary that explores the challenges of parenting in a digital world. One of the main myths Ruston says her film exposes is the notion that children are overscheduled.
Of course, there is value in sitting in a corner reading, playing board games, climbing a tree or just daydreaming. But the reality is that in most homes, screens of one sort or another compete fiercely with all those unstructured activities.
On the other hand, engaging kids in soccer, band, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts or gymnastics is a pretty sure way to sever the screen connection, at least for a few hours. And that in itself is a big benefit, even without the added advantage of physical exercise, learning an instrument or improving table manners.
Researchers have been pushing back against this notion that children spend too much time in scheduled activities. A 2008 report on “The Overscheduling Myth,” from the nonprofit research group Child Trends, found that “contrary to popular belief, research rejects the notion that most or even many children and youth are overscheduled and suffering as a result.” That report referenced a long list of benefits of scheduled activities, from higher self-esteem to lower rates of drug and alcohol use over time. It also found that children involved in multiple activities are usually able to maintain a balance in their lives. Typically, they still spend more time on school work and other unscheduled activities such as informal games, household chores and watching television.
There’s a tendency among parents to beat ourselves up over our overbooked days. Even as we commit our kids to another lesson, club or sport, we are drawn to articles that ask “Are kids depressed because they don’t just play anymore?” The reality, however, is that while the “just play” model of child rearing may seem more organic and idyllic, that ship has pretty much sailed.
Ruston says the real digital divide isn’t access to the Internet. It is between families who have technology in relative balance, often with the help of other organized activities, and those who spend too much time on screens because of a lack of alternatives.
At Alice Deal Middle School in Washington, kids in grade 6 through 8 can choose from about 70 after-school activities, from choir to poetry café, debate and meditation. It’s a roster that Principal James Albright says is largely designed to “fill the hour between 3:30 and 4:30.”
“I feel there is a legitimate need,” he says, arguing that even a full school day leaves a lot of empty hours to be filled. “A lot of kids don’t go home to parents. I want families to feel like their kids can stay after school to do something different.”
Albright says that he is not advocating for a highly scheduled lifestyle so much as working to ensure that children are safe, and involved in something they enjoy rather than going home to an empty house.
“Idle time can be a great thing,” he concedes. “But I don’t know that we manage it well with technology.”
Most educators and researchers agree there’s no optimal number of activities; it depends on the kid. And even those who advocate for multiple activities still encourage parents to make some time for their children to just be bored.
“The ultimate goal should be to have a mix of activity and unscheduled downtime,” says Josh Golin, executive director of the Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood. “It’s important to let kids be a little bored and see what comes out of that boredom.”