Up, up, up and away: Trumbo hits a high one

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The Hamilton Spectator - - SPORTS - DWIGHT PERRY Tri­bune News Ser­vice

El­e­vated fast­ball? No kid­ding. Just when you thought base­ball couldn’t cook up another new stat, now comes word that six-foot-four Ori­oles slug­ger Mark Trumbo tom­a­hawked a pitch that was 4.62 feet above the ground for a home run — an all-time high, so to speak, since Stat­cast started its pitch-track­ing era in 2008.

HEAD­LINES

At TheKicker.com: “Emilio Estevez get­ting tired of con­grat­u­la­tory phone calls about Ducks.”

At TheOnion.com: “Preg­nant Ser­ena Wil­liams ex­cited to feel her baby grunt.”

ON THIN ICE

Olympic fig­ure skater Michelle Kwan has filed di­vorce pa­pers in Rhode Is­land, but ju­ris­dic­tion fig­ures to be a heated is­sue. Her soon-to-be ex wants the case heard in Cal­i­for­nia, while she’s in­sist­ing on a French judge.

FOR BET­TOR, OR WORSE

Just when you thought our sports-wager­ing thirst might have been slaked, along comes this: daily WNBA fan­tasy games on FanDuel.

SOME SYM­PA­THY CARD

Soc­cer li­nes­man An­drew McWil­liam barfed on the side­line while per­form­ing his du­ties dur­ing a Scot­tish Pre­mier­ship match, so ref­eree Craig Thoma­son jok­ingly flashed him a red card. Ap­par­ently the lo­cal Hall­mark store was closed.

IT’S RAIN­ING RUNS

The Na­tion­als set a ma­jor league record by scor­ing 170 runs in the sea­son’s first month. In other words, a lot of op­pos­ing pitch­ers saw April show­ers.

BROOM, BROOM

Two Cava­liers se­ries sweeps. Two War­riors se­ries sweeps. They sched­ule the NBA play­offs, and a curl­ing bon­spiel breaks out!

TALK­ING THE TALK

Bob Moli­naro in the Nor­folk Vir­ginian Pi­lot, on the Cava­liers’ 8-0 start in the NBA play­offs af­ter just a so-so reg­u­lar sea­son: “(They) re­ally have flipped the prover­bial switch. Or did they use the Clap­per?”

TBS’s Co­nan O’Brien, af­ter a Toy­ota Land Cruiser clocked 230 m.p.h. to break the record for fastest SUV: “Ap­par­ently some­body was re­ally late to their kid’s soc­cer game.”

RJ Cur­rie of Sport­sDeke.com, with a sure sign the Maple Leafs and Oil­ers were too young to be ti­tle con­tenders this year: “When­ever one of them lost a tooth, they’d put it un­der their pil­low.”

SWEAR HIM IN

Curs­ing in­creases strength and stamina, ac­cord­ing to a study by psy­chol­o­gists at Bri­tain’s Univer­sity of Keele. Co­in­ci­dence? The morn­ing-line favourite to win the 2020 Olympic de­cathlon is now Mel Gib­son.

LOS­ING THEIR SEAT

The Den­ver Bron­cos are re­vok­ing sea­son tick­ets from pur­chasers who did not at­tend a home game last sea­son. The Browns, not to be out­done, are of­fer­ing free grief coun­selling for any­one who de­cides to re-up with them.

MORE HEAD­LINES

At Sport­sPickle.com: “Jay Cut­ler signs one-day con­tract to re­tire from football as a Cleve­land Brown.”

At TheKicker.com: “NBA 2K17 adds ‘Wiz/ Celts mode,’ which is ba­si­cally just Mor­tal Kom­bat.”

FAST FACT

Reds speed­ster Billy Hamil­ton, who owns the fastest dou­ble (7.19 sec­onds) and triple (10.45) since Stat­cast be­gan clock­ing base run­ners in 2015, has never hit an in­side-thep­ark home run.

QUOTE MARKS

Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., on the death of Adolph Kiefer, 98, Amer­ica’s old­est liv­ing Olympic gold medal­list: “He won his medal in the 100-me­tre back­stroke at the 1936 Games in Berlin, which also ex­plains why he was the last Amer­i­can medal­list named ‘Adolph.’”

Brad Dick­son of the Omaha (Neb.) WorldHer­ald, af­ter a South Bend (Ind.) Cubs mi­nor­lea­guer tried and failed 10 times to toss a beach ball back over the out­field fence: “I think I know why he’s in Class A.”

Jan­ice Hough of LeftCoastS­port­sBabe.com, on Wil­lie Mays’ 86th birth­day fall­ing on the same day as the Ken­tucky Derby: “Say hey, say neigh.”

Scott Ostler of the San Fran­cisco Chronicle, af­ter Cavs star LeBron James threat­ened to sue a Cleve­land Brew­ery for us­ing a pic­ture of him hold­ing one of their beers with­out per­mis­sion: “Some­one should re­mind King James that he never ob­tained le­gal per­mis­sion from the peo­ple who make that Bi­ble.”

NBC’s Seth Mey­ers, on the de­ceased Mets fan whose ashes are be­ing flushed down toi­lets in base­ball sta­di­ums across the coun­try: “Mean­while, the Mets are hon­our­ing his wish by flush­ing their sea­son, too.”

Com­edy writer Alex Kase­berg, on MLBthemed di­a­pers: “They were also go­ing to put NFL lo­gos on them, but no­body wanted a di­a­per with the name Browns on it.”

Comic Tor­ben Rolf­sen, on ways to spice up the Ken­tucky Derby: “Mix it up one year and open the race to horses of any age, but the jock­eys have to be 3-year-olds.”

LAW SUIT

A high school cheer­leader in El Paso, Texas, was ar­rested on sus­pi­cion of sub­mit­ting a false po­lice re­port af­ter she con­fessed she made up a story that her home had been bur­glar­ized so she could keep her uni­form in­stead of hav­ing to turn it in. She was re­leased from jail af­ter post­ing bond of two bits, four bits, six bits, $5,000.

KEN­NETH K. LAM, TNS

Bal­ti­more Ori­oles Mark Trumbo launched him­self in to the his­tory books.

LEAH KLAFCZYNSKI, THE CANA­DIAN PRESS

OK then, LeBron, who gave you per­mis­sion to al­low the use of King James?

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