They’re all just pawns liv­ing in King Felix’s base­ball world

The Hamilton Spectator - - SPORTS - DWIGHT PERRY

Mongo lives! Na­tion­als pitcher Ed­win Jack­son chan­nelled his in­ner ogre of “Blaz­ing Sad­dles” fame to ex­plain how he’s play­ing for his 12th MLB team in his 15-year ca­reer — one team shy of ty­ing Oc­tavio Do­tel’s record. “Some­times you’re just a pawn, man,” Jack­son told Sports Il­lus­trated. “I’ve been traded af­ter bad years. I’ve been traded af­ter a 14-win sea­son . ... “The life of a chess piece. There you go. Be­cause that’s what we are.”

HEAD­LINES

At Sport­sPickle.com: “Lavar Ball fi­nal­izes 3-year, 3-son deal to date Kar­dashi­ans.”

At TheKicker.com: “Knicks ex­plor­ing ways to make Melo even less happy.”

OUT OF THIS WORLD

Thurs­day marked the 48th an­niver­sary of the first U.S. as­tro­naut to land on the moon. But why’d they have to come back with Den­nis Rod­man?

ES­CORTED OUT

Ole Miss foot­ball coach Hugh Freeze re­signed af­ter he phoned an es­cort ser­vice, spark­ing an in­ves­ti­ga­tion that un­cov­ered a “pat­tern of per­sonal mis­con­duct,” school of­fi­cials said. That just might stand as the worst call of the 2017 sea­son.

TSA ALERT

Woke up in a cold sweat the other night: Dreamt I’d turned on the TV and there was O.J. — driv­ing a white Hertz Bronco through an air­port.

COR­PO­RATE RAIDER

Mar­shawn Lynch, Oak­land’s favourite home­grown run­ning back, is buy­ing Scend’s Restau­rant and Bar, a lo­cal soul-food joint, to keep it from clos­ing. But ve­he­mently de­nies he plans to re­name it Feast Mode.

GO­ING, GO­ING, GONE

Ex-pitcher Li­van Her­nan­dez has filed for bank­ruptcy, claim­ing he has less than $50,000 to show for the $53 mil­lion he earned in a 17-year ca­reer. Alert statis­ti­cians im­me­di­ately cred­ited him with a blown sav­ings.

2 UN­DER PAR

The per­fect golf­ing four­some for a par-5 hole? Don­ald Driver, Chip Kelly, J.J. Putz and Ed­die the Ea­gle.

BUCK­ING THE BUCKEYES

For­mer linebacker Chris Spiel­man is su­ing Ohio State over the unau­tho­rized use of play­ers’ like­nesses. There went OSU’s plans for Art Sch­lichter Bob­ble­head Night.

COSTLY MEAL

It seems only fit­ting that the Red Sox handed cor­pu­lent third base­man Pablo San­doval a $90-mil­lion con­tract, then had to eat nearly half of it.

COLOUR HIM MIS­GUIDED

Ari­zona Car­di­nals coach Bruce Ari­ans re­vealed he once drank paint as a kid be­cause he thought it’d make it harder to tackle him. Or, as his pe­di­a­tri­cian liked to call to young Ari­ans’ stom­ach lin­ing, the red zone.

TALK­ING THE TALK

St. Cloud State goal­tender Tay­lor Crosby, younger sis­ter of the Pen­guins su­per­star, in her women’s hockey bio: “Per­sonal: Daugh­ter of Troy and Trina Crosby of Cole Har­bour, N.S . ... Older brother Sid­ney also plays hockey ...”

RJ Cur­rie of Sport­sDeke.com, guess­ing where de­posed Knicks pres­i­dent Phil Jack­son dis­ap­peared to on va­ca­tion: “The Ber­muda Tri­an­gle.”

Brad Dick­son of the Omaha (Neb.) World Her­ald, on the marathoner in Maine who out­ran two bears: “His big con­cern? That these were Kenyan bears.”

Jan­ice Hough of LeftCoastS­port­sBabe.com, af­ter Pablo San­doval said “a few teams” were in­ter­ested in sign­ing him: “Is he talk­ing base­ball or com­pet­i­tive eat­ing?”

WILL VRAGOVIC, TNS

“Chess piece” pitcher Ed­win Jack­son throws a pitch for ... San Diego, his 12th team in 15 MLB sea­sons.

CHRIS­TIAN LAFORCE, THE CANADIAN PRESS

Cole Har­bour’s Tay­lor Crosby in­di­cates in her bio that she has an older brother who also plays hockey.

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