How do we tell our son, 18, he’s on medication for anxiety?

FAMILY LIFE

Q: Our son is 18. He has anxiety and is on medication.

No one has officially told him he has anxiety and we are afraid to do so in case he gets upset.

We find this a tricky situation. How should we handle it?

A: You are describing a somewhat odd scenario: your son may not know what his medication is treating.

Truth is, many people are in a similar situation, being treated for a mental illness while never realizing they have one. This is an outcome arising from a concern of stigma and the belief that we need to protect people by withholding their diagnosis and just treating their symptoms.

But without a clearly identified diagnosis, these people don’t fully realize what they are dealing with. Nor do they have the opportunity to educate themselves more fully on the disorder, come to terms with the diagnosis and learn strategies to manage it.

By analogy, if it was a physical illness, a diagnosis would be forthcoming and the person could then research ways to more fully address the problem.

While I cannot say what is best for your son, I tend to advocate letting people know about their diagnosis, assuming there is a defined one. It is my preference to then provide considerable education about the nature and effect of the diagnosis and illness, and treatment options.

Please note that social workers cannot provide a mental health diagnosis but we can, when it appears someone may meet the criteria for a mental illness, refer them to a physician or psychologist.

When a diagnosis is confirmed, some people need a period of adjustment while others are relieved to find there is a reason behind why they feel as they do.

In many cases, particularly with teens and young adults, a mental illness is often masked by inappropriate behaviour, which is really just a maladaptive coping mechanism. Once a diagnosis is provided along with appropriate management strategies, much of that behaviour tends to disappear.

Protecting someone from the stigma around a diagnosis can inadvertently create other issues. In the end, I aim for clarity about their situation and then try to provide whatever supports are needed to help them cope.

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