NADLER: RETURN OF THE SCRUNCHIE?
It’s been more than 14 years since Carrie Bradshaw stomped her pointy-toed Manolo down on a lingering question: is it OK to wear a scrunchie outside the house?
Well, no, nope, not at all. No selfrespecting New York City fashionista in her right mind would ever wear one out on the town, proclaimed Bradshaw to her soon-tobe-ex-BF, Berger. Right? Obviously.
But it’s interesting that ever since the much-reviled scrunchie first gained popularity in the ’80s, crashing hard in the ’90s, we have been discussing its return.
In November 2009 British Vogue announced it in a piece titled Pick Up A Scrunchie, a brief the magazine may or may not have regretted soon after publication. I mean, the only proof of this supposed style resurgence was that American Apparel started selling them again and well, we all know how things turned out for that brand.
In 2013 The Guardian once again declared that the scrunchie is back! Hillary Clinton was seen wearing one (umm … ?) as was Madonna (well, she epitomizes the ’80s, so she pretty well owns any ’80s look forevermore). But that year Marc Jacobs added them to his accessories line, claims the British newspaper. And Missoni sent them down the runway, as did Vivienne Westwood and Louis Vuitton. So … maybe?
It feels like every few years, perhaps when fashion news gets slow or designers send models down the runway wearing creations reminiscent of a fashion era we’d just as soon forget, the scrunchie gets a headline.
Well, good for you, little scrunchie. You are the hair accessory that keeps on trying, aren’t you?
But there’s a problem with this theory and that’s every time your return is heralded in glossy or matte fashion pages worldwide, it’s written as kind of a novelty piece. Like, guess what? People are wearing pants covered in hotdogs or wide-wale orange bell bottom corduroys. (Actually, I could get behind either of those.)
But the truth is, when a woman wants to look elegant, she hides her see-through or hair-coloured elastic by wrapping a strand of hair around it. She wears a topknot or bun in a way that doesn’t show the elastic underneath.
Man-buns can have the scrunchie as far as I’m concerned because the rest of us have been there, done that, are totally over it.
But are we? Because guess what, people? A few weeks ago I sniffed at a story that once again made an attempt at bringing back the scrunchie. I promptly ignored it, deciding the writer had too much wine or grapefruit radler or crack. But then a few days ago, yet another publication proclaimed the scrunchie’s popularity. And this time it was Vogue. Again.
This time the style bible pointed out that design house Mansur Gavriel sent models wearing scrunchies down the runway during New York Fashion Week, last month. Which kind of shoves Carrie Bradshaw’s well-heeled foot into her mouth, doesn’t it?
The hair stylist for the show was initially unimpressed, says the story. But they styled them “in a very cool way.” OK. “Loose is key,” hairstylist Laurent Philippon told Vogue. “It’s better when it looks a little bit messy.” Well, no problem here. Vogue also points out that everyone’s favourite Insta models are sporting them outside of their bathrooms. Selena Gomez was spotted wearing one while out in Buenos Aires with her boyfriend The Weeknd. Bella Hadid has been photographed wearing one. Lily RoseDepp, the list goes on.
Is it because they’re too young? They don’t remember banana clips and tying our hair up in chiffon bows that bounced atop our permed heads. The acid wash jeans and matching jackets that eventually ceded to velvet chokers and blackberry matte lipstick, two looks that are inexplicably popular again.
Yes sure, they probably think it’s hilarious and campy. But they don’t remember the smell of the perm lotion, the itchiness of the chiffon bows, the way they always flopped down and had to be retied 8 million times over the course of a day. The smell of the bleach we used to get that splattered effect on our jeans or how stiff and uncomfortable the denim became after a bleach bath.
They don’t know that scrunchies, like facial skin, lose elasticity. They wear them now because they can wear anything but one day they’ll look back at photos and say “Why? Why would I have worn that? Why did I waste taut glowing skin on those monstrosities?”
So the next time you see a story telling you that scrunchies are back, please heed my advice and ignore it.
You’ll thank me in 20 years.