The cellphone visitor: Ask them to leave it in the car

Feedback comments create a conversation between many readers, and also between readers and me.

Today, with feedbacks to a variety of recent column questions and answers, the conversation spans several topics that aroused interesting responses.

Feedback regarding the woman’s intended letter asking family to leave cellphones at home (Sept. 29):

Reader #1: “I, too, am a holdout about getting a cellphone. I believe that much more creative thinking is done just letting one’s brain unravel undisturbedduring a long walk.

“I, too, am annoyed by cellphone use in social situations.

“I believe that the best way to deal with this is to keep a paperback book handy, and start reading it immediately when anyone needlessly engages their phone at the dinner table.”

Reader #2: “The writer’s intended note is the best advice possible to give people who’ve become very rude when in a social group, such as visiting your home.

“Besides asking them to “leave electronic devices at home, or in the car, or on our doorstep,” I like the extra part, “and please add your baseball caps.”

Reader #3: “The letter-writer is using the notice as a platform for fingerwagging at how much their friends and family rely on technology.

“It’s dripping with judgment about how their need for technology differs from their guests, and has an air of superiority.

“While I’d be happy to oblige the request, I would not feel welcome, and would also feel silently judged for my lifestyle choice about owning a cellphone.

“Personally, if I were a guest in their home, a simple “we’re a technology-free home, so please leave your cellphonespowered down and in the foyer, or in your car” would suffice. “I’d happily oblige that request.” Feedback regarding the “sad younger wife” stressed and anxious about caregiving of her husband (Sept. 30):

Reader #1: “I’ve been caregiver to my husband of 40 years, aged 75, for the past two years.

“His medical conditions are many, and he was in and out of intensive care several times.

“After being told I should get my affairs in order, I strongly advocated for advanced therapy and followup care.

“I felt like everyone had given up on him. I got a team together through the health system and in partnership with his doctors.

“We received home care through CCAC (Ellie: these are critical care access centres and different forms of these agencies exist in many locales) and the Saint Elizabeth Society (a charitable home nursing association).

“He’s now making remarkable progress and leading a close to normal life.

“There were times I wished to go outside and lock the door behind me. The stress of doing everything was wearing me thin. But love and commitment are utmost and we did sign up for “sickness and health!”

“My advice is as Ellie’s — get help, it is available, and advocate for your loved one.

“Your life may change forever, but you will never regret the effort.”

Reader #2: “There’s caregiver help through Local Health Integration Networks, Personal Support Workers (in Canada), and Certified Nurse Assistants (U.S.), housekeeping help, etc.

“There are also support groups and counselling.”

Reader #3: “For people who need assistance in finding caregiver support services, dial the free 2-1-1 telephone service, which locates local resources across the United States and across Canada.

“It’s a community information service, free of charge, with information and referrals to programs and services that are mostly free, or low cost.