Not everyone with a #MeToo is posting their sex harassment story. Here’s why:
If you’ve scrolled through the #MeToo posts on social media and thought, “Gosh, it seems like everyone I know has experienced sexual assault or sexual harassment,” consider this: There are far more stories of #MeToos than the number posted on Facebook.
This doesn’t surprise the women reading this. It shouldn’t surprise men, either. While men have published supportive posts, in which they’ve promised to call out other men’s demeaning behaviour, many clearly weren’t aware of the prevalence of the problem.
The stories you’re not reading are being held back for reasons that are just as valid as those in favour of speaking up.
Some are refraining from posting #MeToos on Facebook because their perpetrator might read it and recognize himself.
Others don’t think their experiences seem “bad enough” when side-by-side with others’ stories. And some just don’t like to share much on social media.
Here are a few more reasons women are keeping their #MeToos to themselves.
Don’t we know this already? To Carolyn Gilbert, a 63-year-old woman in Cincinnati, sexual harassment and assault are too common and too serious to address in a Facebook post.
To her the posts have become as cliché as someone expressing “thoughts and prayers” after a disaster.
Social media doesn’t allow for much nuance. What kept Lizzie Pollock, a 35-year-old in Rhode Island from adding her voice to the chorus was nuance, and the lack of it on social media.
If she were to share a #MeToo, she says there are aspects of her story that she would feel comfortable sharing and aspects that she wouldn’t.
Posting these stories forces people to relive pain. Pollock noted that posting on Facebook would feel like “reliving a trauma someone else caused.” And for what? To add just one more story that might increase visibility on an important issue, but it likely won’t provoke an apology from a perpetrator.
Women are tired of bearing the burden of having to speak up. This is not the first viral social media campaign prompting women to tell their stories of sexual harassment or assault.
Women have been sharing their stories, en masse, for years now — and yet harassment and assault continue.