Four quarters of free beer sure cushions a shutout
Would you actually cry in your beer if it was free? About 200 Packers fans took advantage when the Bavarian Bierhaus in Glendale, Wis., offered in-game suds on the house a week ago Sunday until Green Bay scored. Alas, the Ravens won 23-0 — the first time the Packers were shut out in 11 years — and an estimated 275-300 brews were given away. As Bierhaus GM Scott Bell told CBC Radio: “So many people, when they came back after halftime and in the third quarter, actually apologized for drinking my beer, hoping the Packers would score.”
HEADLINES
On the readerboard at Pike Creek Automotive in Wilmington, Del.: “We fix suspensions, unless you are Ezekiel Elliott.”
At TheOnion.com: “Giants players beg Al Michaels not to use their real names during starting-lineup introduction.”
TOUGH IN THE TRENCHES
Don’t know about you, but even a stomach full of Thanksgiving turkey wasn’t enough to withstand nine hours’ worth of illegal contact, personal fouls, illegal use of hands, encroachment and hands to the face. But enough about shopping on Black Friday.
BALL IN A CHINA SHOP
When LaVar Ball said those in charge need to get tougher on his son, he was referring to: a) the Lakers and Lonzo b) China and LiAngelo
NAME GAME
Would anyone be surprised if Bol Bol — Oregon’s seven-foot-two basketball recruit — develops into a repeat all-American?
YOU MAKE THE CALL
The most-compelling matchup of 2017 will go down in history as: a) Astros vs. Dodgers b) Jerry Jones vs. Roger Goodell c) LaVar Ball vs. Donald Trump
COLD LEFTOVERS
Per presidential custom, Donald Trump pardoned two turkeys last week. He should’ve pardoned the Giants-Washington game.
DOUBLE-TALL FILL-UP
London is kicking around the idea of powering some city buses using coffee. Gas pumps at Starbucks, anyone?
NAKED BOOTLEG
A naked fan in Buffalo ran onto the field during the Saints’ 47-10 romp on Nov. 12. Apparently he got his dates mixed up and thought it was the Bares game.
TALKING THE TALK
Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on Bol Bol, the seven-foot-two basketball-playing son of the late sevenseven Manute Bol: “What does his family call him, Shorty?”
New Year’s resolution update making the internet rounds: “My goal for 2017 was to lose just 10 pounds — only 15 to go.”
BIG BLUE-CHIPPER
Hastings, Neb., is gearing up to host its second Bigfoot Conference starting Feb. 15. Cornhusker football recruiters, leaving nothing to chance, plan to be in attendance.
MORE HEADLINES
At TheKicker.com: “Kevin Durant returns to OKC, visits the birthplaces of six of his Twitter personas.”
At Fark.com: “Jay Cutler finally goes into concussion protocol after years of teasing.”
PENALTY ON THE PLAY
Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is apparently backing off his threats to sue the NFL over Commissioner Roger Goodell’s pending contract extension. Ever hear of an owner getting whistled for a false start before?
QUOTE MARKS
Comedian Argus Hamilton, on the NFL’s Thanksgiving Day games: “When you think what can happen when relatives drink wine within reach of a carving knife, you realize that over the years the Dallas Cowboys game has probably saved more lives than penicillin.”
RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, after the Flyers’ Radko Gudas apologized for a two-handed slash to the back of an opponent’s neck that earned him a 10-game suspension: “That’s like a guillotine operator saying, ‘Oops.’”
Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., on ex-Braves GM John Coppolella’s lifetime ban from baseball: “The worst part is that Pete Rose made $30,000 picking the day he would be kicked out.”
Blogger TC Chong, on the Dallas’ moribund Thanksgiving Day performance: “Did anyone notice that Cowboys owner Jerry Jones sent someone from his private box at halftime to see if Ezekiel Elliott was hiding in the Salvation Army kettle?”
Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on Saturday’s Tennessee-Vanderbilt game pitting two teams with 0-7 records in SEC play: “Football fans in search of a real turkey had to wait two days past Thanksgiving.”
Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on the nasty Jerry Jones-Roger Goodell feud: “On the bright side, it’s a diversion from counting players who took a knee during the anthem.”