To make resolutions stick, keep ’em simple
Like death and taxes, the practice of making — and breaking — resolutions seems to be inevitable.
Clinical studies show that fewer than 10 per cent of us keep New Year’s resolutions, despite the fact that humans have been making them for thousands of years (the practice dates back 4,000 years to the ancient Babylonians).
The Spectator spoke to Karen Rowa, clinical psychologist at St. Joseph’s Healthcare Hamilton, about what drives us to make resolutions and how we can make them stick.
Are New Year’s resolutions a cultural phenomenon, or do we have an innate desire to improve our life?
My guess is that it’s a bit of both. As human beings, we do sort of reset periodically, so there must be something innate about wanting to recalibrate. But then there (are) probably cultural influences, because other people have different new years, and other cultures have different times of the year that are more important for starting again.
What are some of the most common resolutions that fail?
It can be anything that is a big, lofty, massive, huge change. We tend to not do well if we set any kind of resolution that is five steps ahead of where we’re actually at — we’re thinking too far ahead or setting expectations too high. On a practical level, the big ones that fail have to do with logistic lifestyle changes, like diet and exercise.
What are the characteristics of a more successful resolution?
Most of us set resolutions about big changes we think we should be doing, but maybe they aren’t realistic, maybe they’re not practical, maybe they’re not taking account of where we’re actually at. We tend to make resolutions about things that we think are important on a societal level rather than personally important.
You say making resolutions public is a good way to encourage yourself to keep them. How does that motivate us?
When we make a public commitment, we tend to honour that a little bit more, maybe because we’re trying to avoid embarrassment. But I also like to look at it from a positive angle, and think that a public commitment is something that people can be interested in and they ask you about it, which puts it on your radar more because it keeps coming up. Or maybe people join you if you say, “I really want to read more, so my resolution is to get a great list of books together.” And maybe somebody else says “Why don’t we trade books?” Maybe part of it is that people join us in our goal.
Could you suggest other tips to make us more successful in keeping resolutions?
Start very small, very specific, and very realistic. Any resolution or goal has to be personally relevant.
Is there anything you would like to add?
I was thinking about research that I had read about comparing ourselves to other people, because I do think that’s a place where we have to be a little bit careful — especially for those of us who suffer with anxiety or depression. We know that comparisons people make tend to be with people who are doing way better than them at something. Instead of comparing ourselves to our neighbour who is doing a little better than us and is kind of motivating and inspiring, we tend to pick really ideal comparisons — people who are excelling at something. We know from research that when we do that, we tend to have a really negative mood shift. We really want to avoid those lofty comparisons and focus on the more realistic targets so we don’t have a drop in mood that discourages us from following through.