Mother-in-law’s food deliveries disrupting workday
Q: How do I get my mother-in-law to quit coming over unannounced? She is Italian and is always bringing us food. I work from home and I don’t think she understands that this is disruptive and that I can’t always take a break when she comes over.
A: Sounds like a lovely motherin-law, actually. It also sounds like she is acting within cultural norms. From your mother-inlaw’s perspective, she is showing you love and seeking to be supportive so you can work and not have to worry about cooking.
To not accept the food will cause you to appear rude and ungrateful. However, perhaps you can discuss setting some parameters around when, not if, she can come by. Alternately, perhaps the food can be picked up from her home.
I wonder if you can suggest some times in the day when you might be more available to receive her. I also wonder if you can ask that she call before showing up, to make sure you are available.
Alternately, perhaps your husband can drop by her house on his way home to pick up the food.
The key in all of this is to let her feel appreciated for her contribution while finding a way to give you space to do your work.
By setting some parameters, you may come to really enjoy her support and expression of love without feeling interrupted and obligated to entertain her when it is inconvenient to you.
This is what I call a happiness problem — it’s about caring behaviour. You just need to find a way to sort out the timing.
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