After 10 red cards, ref says enough
Who needs Valentine’s Day to pass out a whole bunch of cards?
There were 10 red cards and eight yellows awarded in Brazil’s Bahia state-championship match between Vitoria and Bahia, eight of the reds coming after a brawl that delayed the match for 16 minutes.
The referee then stopped the proceedings after the final two reds with 11 minutes remaining and Bahia ahead 3-0.
Headlines
• At Fark.com: “Eagles file to trademark phrase ‘Philly Special,’ which describes the act of booing Santa while throwing batteries.”
• At TheOnion.com: “Uphill skiing competition enters 6th day.”
Cardinal Sin Dept.
Talk about poetic justice: Louisville got stripped of its 2013 basketball title by a stripper.
Soccer parent’s lament
Our kid patterns his game after Ronaldo, but his bedroom is totally Messi.
Sports quiz
The NCAA ordered Notre Dame to forfeit 21 football wins in 2012 and 2013 largely because school work and/or improper academic assistance was provided for eight players by: a) a student trainer b) a leprechaun c) Mantei T’eo’s girlfriend
Some punishment
What, Washington might be in danger of vacating its 2-16 Pac-12 basketball record last season because ex-Husky Markelle Fultz allegedly accepted a $10,000 loan from an agent?
So what’s next, the NFL retroactively declaring the 0-16 Browns ineligible for Super Bowl LII?
Extra mustard
Forrest Whitley, the Astros’ six-foot-seven fireballing mound prospect, has been tagged with a 50-game suspension after failing a drug test.
Club officials figured something was amiss last season when his errant spring-training pickoff attempt in West Palm Beach, Fla., finally rolled to a stop in Okeechobee.
Fact of the Week
From ESPN’s Field Yates: “Tom Brady, the 199th pick in 2000, will soon officially be the only member of that class that remains with his team.”
Tweet-KO
Check out this snappy twitter comeback by free-agent QB Robert Griffin III after he got ribbed by a Browns fan and:
@brown_nation: “I am sick of RG3. Why am I following him?”
@rgiii: “Because I’m responsible for your last win.”
Talking the talk
• Comedy writer Brad Dickson, after Molly Schuyler won the Wing Bowl in Philadelphia by downing 501 chicken wings in 30 minutes: “Breaking the old record held by a garbage disposal.”
• Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, on the Russian curler who flunked his Olympic drug test: “Not only that, but now they think he corked his broom.”
Lucky them
The average American experiences 60 bad days a year, according to a study commissioned by fitness and nutrition app Freeletics.
So cheer up, Cleveland Browns — you only have 16!
More headlines
• At Fark.com: “Bengals sign Hart on Valentine’s Day, yet Presidents’ Day comes and they take a pass on Kennedy, Lincoln and Adams.”
• At SportsPickle.com: “Coldplay announces release of new icedancing ballads album.”
Quiplash
• Canadian curler Brent Laing, to the Winnipeg Sun, after a Russian counterpart failed a doping test at the Winter Olympics: “Beer and Advil, those are the only painkillers I’ve ever heard of for curling. I imagine it wasn’t that. Hopefully not, or else I’m in trouble.”
• Blogger Chad Picasner, endorsing the elimination of instant replay and manager challenges if MLB is truly serious about shortening games: “There’s 15 minutes a game right there. Even with the arguments. Besides, I like arguments.”
• Mike Lupica of the New York Daily News, on the power-packed Yankee lineup featuring Giancarlo Stanton and Aaron Judge: “They’re not built to break records. They’re built to break windows.”
• Comedian Argus Hamilton, on the NBA All-Star Game: “Or as
the Kardashians call it, the Home Shopping Network.”
• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, after a couple got married between the second and third periods of an NHL game in Las Vegas: “With this rink I thee wed.”
• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on MLB limiting teams’ mound visits to six per game this season: “The horror — how will a team discuss wedding presents?”
• Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., after viewers slammed Fergie for her rendition of the national anthem at the NBA All-Star Game: “Even Rosanne was saying, ‘I’m finally off the hook!’ ”
• Comedy writer Tim Hunter, on Amazon founder Jeff Bezos having a 10,000-year clock built in west Texas: “I believe it’s going to be used to time really long baseball games.”
• Former Anchorage Daily News desker Roy Neese, via Facebook, after the U.S. topped Canada to reach the gold-medal match in men’s curling: “That’s like the U.S. beating Italy in pasta-making.”