No need to cry over California coffee ruling
Maybe something good will come of this
It’s 6:30 a.m. and I fumble into the kitchen, feed the hungry furmonsters before they devour me whole, then reach for the coffee maker.
These are key morning steps. There will be no wavering from these actions on any given morning. Never. Ever. Got it? Good. The coffee is as important to the human as the breakfast kibble is to the fur-monsters.
And yet, I’ve tried. During several misguided life phases, I’ve tried to substitute green tea for coffee first thing in the morning. Of course it was a mistake — I know that now. But absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? Green tea is for late morning and afternoon. It just doesn’t have the muscle to pull us out of the pre-dawn fuzzies.
And so I’ll sit with my coffee, waiting for it to do its good work, while catching up on the news: what happened overnight, what’s happening now, what I need to know going forward. And then when I’ve dosed myself with enough reality, I’ll step over to Facebook to immerse myself in fantasy. Are you one of the many who’s talked about deleting Facebook from their lives? (In light of recent news of privacy breaches, election manipulations and such.) I’ve no doubt quite a few folks did, indeed, pull the plug on the popular social media site.
But let’s face it — Facebook is the true Kardashian of the social media universe. It’s snippets of people’s lives, yes, but only the parts they want you to see. There is no context. It isn’t honest. Even the supposedly bad stuff is usually a humblebrag. But it’s an outlet and an escape and that’s why most of us will probably stick with it until a suitable equivalent comes along. Because Facebook has the muscle to pull us out of the harshness of reality.
Reality like the recent news that a judge in California has ruled that cancer warning labels be placed on coffee sold in that state due to the presence of a chemical called acrylamide. Acrylamide is created when coffee beans are roasted and is considered carcinogenic. But coffee companies have long argued that since the chemical is present in such insignificant amounts in the beverage we all love, it’s safe for human consumption. Superior court judge Elihu Berle disagreed, however, saying the coffee companies being sued by the nonprofit agency, the Council for Education and Research on Toxics, failed to prove the insignificance of the cancer threat.
Well. Obviously, I read this bit of news while sipping my second cup of morning coffee. Obviously, I was alarmed but not deterred. Because obviously Judge Berle didn’t see those Facebook posts last year and whenever about those studies that found coffee is the true fountain of youth and can help stave off Alzheimer’s, heart disease and/or Type 2 diabetes. Remember? All the stock photos of cups of coffee topped with little white foam hearts?
So who am I expected to believe? A judge in a court of law or a Facebook post? And why would I choose to believe such unpleasant news? Even though the ruling is not yet a done deal and stems from the eight-year-old lawsuit against coffee roasters and sellers, including Starbucks.
But wait. It gets worse.
“In addition to coffee, acrylamide can be found in potatoes and baked goods like crackers, bread and cookies, breakfast cereal, canned black olives and prune juice, although its presence is not always labelled,” reports CNN.com.
Hold on. So now cookies are bad for me, too? Next you’ll be telling me the “Sex and the City” gals all hate each other and their entire “friendship” was, like, pretend acting or something. Am I expected to quit cookies? Again, the presence of acrylamide in those products is considered safe and insignificant for human consumption.
But in the 2000s, the California attorney general settled lawsuits against potato chip and French fry makers Heinz and Frito-Lay to reduce the levels of acrymalide in those products. And they did. So I guess it can be done. So maybe this ruling isn’t all bad news. Maybe something good will come of it. Maybe coffee roasters can figure out a way to reduce the levels of this chemical in the beverage we all love, need, must have every day.
And I won’t have to resort to getting by on Zen green tea, being grumpy all day to the point of wanting to punch everyone. Just don’t talk to me about the SATC cast, because I just can’t with them and that’s a whole different column for a different day.