The Hamilton Spectator

My boyfriend ‘stealthed’ me and now I’m beside myself

- STEVE AND MIA Steve is a 50-something married man who’s been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently-married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers.

Q: During sex, this guy I’m seeing removed the condom secretly. I didn’t notice until too late and now I am beside myself. I confronted him, he apologized.

Mia: That’s called stealthing and it’s a form of sexual assault. It’s dangerous because it exposes a partner to all kinds of possible risks such as unwanted pregnancy and sexually-transmitte­d diseases.

Last fall, two members of U.S. Congress called for a joint hearing before the House Judiciary Committee on the nefarious practice, but that’s as far as it’s gone at this point. Much more needs to be done since a whole lot of people don’t realize the seriousnes­s of this.

Steve: Key phrase: “I confronted him and he apologized.” Which means he only admitted his loutish behaviour after getting caught. Dump him. Immediatel­y. And go get an STD test to be safe.

Q: I love my boyfriend. We’ve been together for three years. My problem is his mother who wants him all to herself so he’s always at her house.

We’ve been talking about getting married and I think I should be the priority in his life — not her. How can I get this through his head?

We broke up over it but I took him back because I missed him so much. We’re technicall­y on a break but still spend time together. How do I get him to put me first?

Mia: You can’t. You can’t either wait his mother out (she’s not going to live forever) or accept that with this mama’s boy, Mama is still No. 1.

Steve: Even in 2018, it is still technicall­y illegal to throw Mama from the train. So it’s time to roll this relationsh­ip under the bus. Blame the mom. She earned it.

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