Showdown hung up on blockage
Finally, something even Joey Chestnut finds difficult to swallow.
The competitive-eating icon says he’d gladly take on archrival Takeru Kobayashi in this year’s Nathan’s Hotdog Eating Contest on July 4 — but only if Kobayashi agrees to unblock him on Twitter.
Frankly, if we were Joey, Twitter isn’t the blockage we’d be most worried about.
Dress for success
Missed in all the hubbub over Brandi Chastain’s botched bronze likeness: Did the soccer icon go into the Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame in a Cal, Santa Clara or U.S. National Team sports bra?
Sports quiz
Rangers pitcher Bartolo Colon, 45, is the only active major-leaguer to have once appeared in: a) Seattle’s Kingdome b) New York’s Polo Grounds c) an Iowa cornfield
That’s shoe biz
Nike is rolling out the latest iteration of its Jordan golf shoe, the Jordan Trainer ST G.
They’re the only golf shoes you wear with the tongues sticking out.
Been there, done that
So, the NBA went to the trouble of playing 1,230 regular-season games and another 78 in the playoffs just to give us a WarriorsCavs Finals for the fourth straight year?
Just call him Nailed
Police in Linden, N.J., say that when they arrested Lenny Dykstra for threatening an Uber driver, the ex-outfielder was also in possession of cocaine, marijuana and ecstasy.
Or to put the drug charges in baseball terms, a three-bagger.
Time to wake up
The Warriors’ Nick Young says having a dream in which he spoke with Dennis Rodman sparked him to start playing better.
Hey, don’t laugh: He could’ve woken up from a Rodman dream feeling the urge to go buy a wedding dress.
Talking the talk
• Jim Barach of WCHS-TV in Charleston, W.Va., after police arrested Ilie Nastase, 71, on suspicion of DUI and later for driving without a licence — both on the same day: “Or in tennis terms, he was called for a double fault.”
• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, with the first endorsement opportunity to come out of this year’s NBA finals: “Southwest flies to Cleveland … J.R. Smith, wanna get away?”
Power rankings
Australian driver Will Power became the first in his family to win the Indianapolis 500.
Which certainly came as a shock to those who put money on his German cousin, Horst.
Just had to ask
With Brewers infielder Travis Shaw lighting up Pirates pitcher Ivan Nova to the tune of a .786 batting average, eight RBI and three homers in just 17 career at-bats, does that make him the Bossa Nova?
More headlines
• At Fark.com: “LeBron, an old vet, J.R. Smith, a houseplant, and I guess a 5th player beat the Celtics in 7 games.”
• At TheOnion.com: “MLB reminds teams to properly dispose of all torn elbow ligaments.”
Metal detecting
MLS commissioner Don Garber will be inducted into the National Soccer Hall of Fame on Oct. 20.
Coincidence? His bronze likeness looks a lot like Brandi Chastain.
Something’s amiss here
The Rockets missed an NBArecord 27 three-point shots in a row in their Game 7 loss to the Warriors.
In other words, the basketball version of “Tin Cup.”
Bringing the heat
The Rangers celebrated pitcher Bartolo Colon’s 45th birthday with a pregame cake in the Texas clubhouse.
Unfortunately, the fire sprinklers kicked on and doused all the candles before he could.
Sports quiz II
The most shocking news in sports last month was:
a) the Ravens slashing stadium food prices for the upcoming season
b) expansion Las Vegas making the Stanley Cup Final in its first season
c) a baseball player (Welington Castillo) blaming only himself for his PED bust
Two bits’ worth
The cheer squad for the CFL’s B.C. Lions is called — we kid you not — the Felions.
Pass the red cards
The Orlando City FC soccer team has booted 38 debris-throwing fans for up to two seasons.
Don’t know about throw-ins, but they do lead MLS in throw-outs.
Quote marks
• Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel, after Central Florida’s athletic program posted its best Academic Progress Rate scores ever: “To commemorate this scholastic excellence, AD Danny White has self-proclaimed the Knights as Ivy League champions.”
• ESPN’s Rick Reilly, via Twitter, on LeBron James’ one-man show for the Cavaliers: “No man has done this much work with no help since Noah.”
• Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, after Yale beat Duke to win the NCAA lacrosse title: “It was a hard-fought game. At one point, a fight broke about between the players’ butlers and chauffeurs.”
• Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun, feeling his world getting turned upside down: “I covered boxing in Toronto last week and
am going to Las Vegas today for the Stanley Cup.”
Tweet of the Week
From Toronto pitcher John Axford: “Dear couple that clearly broke up while standing near our bullpen in the 5th inning today: Lovely entertainment for a few minutes, but we hope you’re OK. Feel free to come back tomorrow and discuss with us. We can provide the third-party point of view! Love, the Jays bullpen!”
Dumb tweet of the Week
New Browns cornerback Damarious Randall made himself no fans in Cleveland when he tweeted: “If the Cleveland Cavaliers win the 2018 NBA finals I’ll buy everyone who retweets this a jersey.”
Randall surpassed 1 million retweets on Thursday, and at $100 a jersey, that’s a $100 million tab — and rising. Of course, when the bill started becoming apparent, Randall said he was just joking.
They said it
• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, on Amar’e Stoudemire — out of the NBA for two years — mulling a comeback at age 35: “Well, sounds like he’s already on a dream team.”
• Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on the World Cup in Russia: “Vladimir Putin has already decided who’ll join Russia in the final, but he isn’t saying.”
• Browns QB Tyrod Taylor, to reporters, on what Damarious Randall’s tweet taught him: “Don’t hit send.”