Want to Inspire me? Piece of cake
I was browsing a shop the other day, when I picked up a charm bracelet I mistook for being pretty. It seemed so from afar, but when I got it up close to my aging eyes, I discovered it was actually a judgmental a-@#!$, one that mocked me for not fitting into its smooth ringlet world of pretty perfection.
Inspire, it said. Or maybe it was Breathe. Or Laugh. Or Dream. One of those edicts I imagine comes from a sun-kissed blogger who spends her days frolicking on a California beach with her two perfectly-behaved, whitehaired toddlers. These empty sayings that are ubiquitous in home decor and gift shops, emblazoned on weathered boards and forged into curvy letters that one is meant to hang on one’s wall to remind them to Breathe. Or Laugh. Or Dream. Because we need to be reminded to do these things.
The last dream I can recall involved me screaming obscenities into our new Premier’s face. And y’know what? I can do without those dreams. Inspire? What if I don’t feel like being inspired? Maybe I want to spend an entire week just lapping up the inspiration of TV writers and producers, on my couch, breathing without thinking about it, laughing occasionally when the show calls for it, phoning the rest of it in. And if someone is inspired by those actions, good on ya. Pinning a board to my wall telling me to Laugh is akin to inviting a passerby on the street, who told me to smile, to live in my home. Why do it?
But there’s more, of course. Because as we grew accustomed to the Dream. Inspire. Laugh. Breathe. signs and no longer needed as many reminders to, um, live, the sayings emblazoned on the weathered boards got longer and more complex. Live Your Best Life. Inspired to Inspire. Do What You Love. And so on.
And now you can obviously get those sayings written out on your wedding cake. Of course you can! According to Brides magazine, one of the hottest new trends in weddings this year is writing part of your wedding vows, or a meaningful saying, in frosting, on your wedding cake. The bridal magazine also cites the example of having the biblical passage “Love is patient, love is kind” piped onto one of the cake’s tiers, a quote which I find more meaningful than Inspired to Inspire or Dream or whatever. Also, it’s cake. It’s easier to forgive cake for being imposing.
Because those of you familiar with my feelings on overboard wedding hoopla know that my favourite thing to do this time of year is rip on Bridezillas and the rules they impose on their bands of hapless bridesmaids. So I will say this about the sayings piped into cake frosting: I can get on board with that. If I have to be told by some meaningless quote how to think, feel, behave, the quote better be bringing some cake with it.
Which is what brings me to the best thing about Wedding Season 2018: the pizza bouquet. I mean, who doesn’t like flowers, right? Flowers are lovely. But what if those lovely flowers could be replaced with pizza? Like, a whole bouquet of flowers made out of melted cheese, pepperoni and pizza crust? Because according to a blog post at Hello Giggles, pizza bouquets are now a thing.
“Also available in boutonniere form, the pizza bouquet is a creation from pizza brand Villa Italian Kitchen,” reads the blog post. “Each bouquet and boutonniere features delicate and cheesy pizza flowers handcrafted by New York City food stylist Jessie Bearden.”
Not only is it pretty — fully bloomed in shades of amber, orange and red — it’s useful. And anyone who’s been in a wedding party knows that the one thing everyone wants to dive into after a long day of smiling, being nice, pretending to like everyone, photos, drinking and dancing with people who step on our toes, is pizza. So this is a creation that is beautiful, thoughtful and practical. The bridesmaids should also carry them and take them home. It definitely would be better appreciated than the pair of faux surgical scrub pants with the bride’s name written across the butt that I received once as a bridesmaid’s gift.
In any case, I know it’s still early on, but there are things to look forward to this wedding season. Or maybe that’s just me, Dreaming. Breathing. Being Inspired to Inspire.