(Deep) NOT SO thoughts
A few random thoughts for National Meteor Watch Day, which is odd since no meteors are supposed to be visible tonight ...
JUST DON’T WIN, BABY
If you want your country to play in the next World Cup, your best option is for them not win the current one.
In 1998, France hoisted the cup only to be knocked out before the elimination round in 2002. Italy won in 2006 but finished last in its group in 2010. Spain won in 2010 but failed to escape the group stage in 2014. And on Wednesday, Germany lost to South Korea and failed to make the knockout stage after winning in 2014.
By this measure, Canada’s national team should be safe for a while.
CRIMES AGAINST GRAMMAR
Attention soccer broadcasters and other journalists.
A team is a singular. Therefore South Korea has won, not South Korea have won. England is the winner, not England are the winner. And Portugal is through, not Portugal are through.
The first casualty of every World Cup is grammar.
THANK GOODNESS
On the flip side, haven’t heard one soccer broadcaster refer to a player’s compete level.
Hockey folks, take note.
STILL WAITING
How does Gary Bettman get into the Hockey Hall of Fame as a builder but Don Cherry doesn’t?
While Bettman has certainly grown the game on the business front and expanded it, Cherry has grown it for years on the social front, creating discussion and passion — whether you agree or disagree with him — and fits the bill of builder better than most people who’ve been honoured that way.
The commissioner may indeed by a Hall of Famer, unpopular an opinion as that may be in many corners, but the continuing overlooking of Cherry smacks of
elitism and pettiness by the committee.
IT’LL BE ROUGH
If you keep referring to FirstOntario Centre as Copps Coliseum — guilty as charged — and you often still call Rogers Centre the SkyDome, good luck on Sunday. That’s when the Air Canada Centre in Toronto becomes Scotiabank Arena.
No more ACC. Now every time someone mentions the home of the Maple Leafs and Raptors you’ll think they’re talking about the home of the Ottawa Senators which was Scotiabank Place from 2006 until 2013 until becoming Canadian Tire Centre.
Oh for the simple days when places our sporting palaces were called Maple Leaf Gardens, the Montreal Forum, Chicago Stadium and other names we knew and understood.
MISSING THE CALL
Hamilton Bulldogs forward Brandon Saigeon was drafted by the Colorado Avalanche last weekend. However, he missed the big moment because he was at a restaurant as the fifth round rolled along and, for some reason, the browser on his phone wouldn’t refresh so he couldn’t see the updated picks.
He found out he’d been taken only when his agent called to congratulate him.
It may have taken away a bit of the surprise but it didn’t diminish the joy in any way.
SAD
Floyd Mayweather used Instagram this week to post a photo of his new watch. His new $18
million US watch. The one with 260 carats of diamonds that’s so gaudy it makes Liberace look understated.
Good for him, I guess. Then again, various charities in Uganda — reportedly home to 2.5 million orphans — say it costs $120 to feed a child for an entire year. So for the cost of his sparkly timepiece, the boxer could’ve put food in the mouths of 150,000 kids until this day in 2019.
So, yeah, enjoy your purchase, Floyd.
WHAT HAPPENED?
The 2016 American League playoffs included the Toronto Blue Jays, Texas Rangers and Baltimore Orioles. Not even two years later, those three teams are a combined 96-145 and 64.5 games out of first place.
LOUSY WAY TO GO
Pity poor Senegal, whose soccer team was dumped from the World Cup on a tiebreaker. Especially when that tiebreaker was the fair play rule which meant it had more yellow and red cards than Japan, so it was done.
There are a lot of bad tiebreaking formulae in the world of sports. This is almost certainly the worst. Far better to break a deadlock on something like shots on net which would reward a team’s efforts to score and penalize a team that simply hangs back.
Using that method, Senegal would’ve advanced 28-27.
THEY MADE WHAT?
When John Tavares eventually makes his decision on where he wants to sign as a free agent, he’s going to make bank, there’s no question about that. Reports suggest he could sign for as much as $99 million — $12 million-plus per year over eight years — which would be a significant raise on the $5.5 million he made last season. Then again, he is one of the top players in the league so it makes some sense.
Bigger than the question about his future home though, is the question of how Tomas Plekanec ($6 million), Mike Green ($6 million) and Kari Lehtonen ($5.9 million) made more than him last season.
HE LOOKED FAMILIAR
Speaking of Mike Green, the veteran defenceman is considered the top free-agent rearguard in this year’s class. He’s only 32 but it feels like he’s been around forever.
So how long has he actually been playing?
The night that Max Lapierre passed to Ajay Baines on a 2-on-1 at Copps Coliseum to win the Hamilton Bulldogs the Calder Cup back in 2007, Green was the defenceman trying to break up the play for the Hershey Bears.
MAKES NO SENSE
Is there anyone who believes LeBron James isn’t the best basketball player in the world? Is there anyone who thinks if everyone in the NBA was cleared of their contracts and a draft was held in which every player was eligible, James wouldn’t be the first player taken?
So explain, then, how the past NBA MVPs have been guys other than LeBron.
The answer is simple. He set the bar so high that any time he doesn’t quite reach that level and some other guy has a great year, that guy looks like he overachieved and is rewarded for it. But that’s faulty thinking and faulty voting. Year after year, he has been the top player in the league.
The fact that James hasn’t won a single MVP award since returning to Cleveland and has singlehandedly carried a weak team makes the award a less-thancredible reflection of who really was the best player.
THEY ARE SLOSHED
According to the18.com, there is a bar in Rio de Janeiro giving out free drinks every time notorious flopper Neymar hits the turf.
“We cannot confirm,” the site writes, “but we assume everyone at the bar is now dead from alcohol poisoning.”
TRY THIS AT HOME
Against Serbia last week, Neymar was tackled and completed five full rotations of a body roll before coming to a pitiful stop 15 yards from the spot of the collision. It was everything that is wrong with soccer.
That said, for those at home not suitably impressed by the physicality of his act, try it this afternoon. All while screaming as if you’d been stabbed in the ear with a white-hot lance and contorting your face into an Oscarworthy facade of anguish.
It’s not easy to do.
FLONKERTON IS NEXT
Twenty-nine teams from around the world have landed in Italy for the Quiddich World Cup that begins this weekend. Think we should tell them it’s only a fictional game?
Nah, let ’em have their fun.