Don’t be in a rush to choose

Q. My seven-year relationship ended earlier this year. I took five months off, then recently started dating again.

Since I’d been “out of practice,” I tried to meet as many men as possible and go on as many dates as possible.

Recently, I met four men within a very short period. I feel great connection with all of them.

All four have asked me out on a second, third, fourth date, and so on.

I like all of them, but I feel I don’t know any of them well enough to choose one person to focus on.

How long can I keep on dating all these men? At what point, do I need to make a decision?

So much choice! It’s flattering but can also be misleading.

Do not think it means you must start a serious relationship with one of them. It’s too soon, especially when you’re attracted to several different people.

Try these steps toward calm reflection: 1) Date each one a little less, and see who sticks around due to greater interest.

2) Check out whether that person would also interest you more than the others.

3) Stay home sometimes and also see friends socially, too.

4) Taking a breather between dates will allow you to think about the qualities each of the four has, and also to see whom you miss most.

5) Make a commitment to yourself not to feel pushed to anoint one of these four, or anyone else, as your new exclusive partner before you’re truly ready again for the ongoing work and inevitable compromises of a relationship.

A.

He can be a hothead, especially when he’s been drinking, which is often.

I took him back after those other breakups, but then I met someone who treats me beautifully and with respect.

I’ve moved on and told my ex. That’s when the harassing went from emails and phone calls to dropping in unexpectedly and starting a fight.

I have no idea what he may do next. What can I do to protect myself ?

Since you’ve known his family a long time, you may consider alerting them to his harassment, if you believe their relationship is solid enough for them to be a positive influence on him. You also know him well, so do not take that step if you believe it’ll enrage him more.

Instead, talk to the police for information on how to handle a future incident.

They may suggest that you alert him right away that you’ll seek a restraining order if he harasses you again. Or they may have other suggestions. Even if you feel uncomfortable involving police, it’s good if they’re forewarned and know the details of his behaviour leading to the recent fight.

Do whatever’s needed to protect yourself.

A.

This year you finally feel as if you can accomplish certain key goals. You might be surprised by a secret desire that could become a reality. From fall on, you will be unusually fortunate. Friends will play a significant role in your year. If you are single, you might be faced with too many admirers. Date all you want, but do not commit until you are sure. If you are attached, the two of you will become more closely interwoven. A change of residence or a remodelling of your present digs is likely. Sagittarius often runs with your ideas.

The Stars Show the Kind of Day You’ll Have: 5-Dynamic; 4-Positive; 3-Average; 2-So-so; 1-Difficult

ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

★★★★ Your get-up-and-go really cannot be stopped, except when a boss or older relative may hassle you or want more control. Finances could be involved. Trust your own judgment. If taking a risk, make sure a loss will not cause a huge problem.

(April 20-May 20)

★★★★ For most of the daylight hours, you will enjoy greater ease and success. You do not need to push hard, though you should avoid someone you must respond to. This person could be very feisty right now. You do not always have to explain where you are going.

TAURUS GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

★★★ You might feel pressured by everything you have to do. A boss or an older friend may need your help, and he or she can’t stop demanding more of your time. Your mind seems to float into other realms, perhaps involving other people.

(June 21-July 22)

★★★★ You have the ability to read between the lines. You also are aware of someone’s odd behaviour. This person might be reticent to be as open as you probably would like. Know that you likely don’t have the control you desire.

(July 23-Aug. 22)

★★★★ Your adventuresome spirit comes forward, leaving the more sedate and cautious facets of your personality

CANCER LEO

behind. Enjoy greeting new ideas and people, yet be aware that what works for one person may not work for another.

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

★★★★ You have become remarkably independent and sure of yourself. When a partner or new friend in your life suddenly decides to become more dominant, a collision could be the outcome. Be open and diplomatic.

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

★★★★ Let someone else take the lead, especially as he or she wants to call the shots. Know that you can choose to make a suggestion or head in another direction. Do not forget that you have the gift of charm and can win others over, if you so choose.

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

★★★ Just because no one agrees with you does not mean that you are wrong. Know that to take the stand that you feel works would require a lot of confidence. Follow your heart and take the lead. A failure here and there is normal.

VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21) ★★★★ You really don’t need to make any excuses. Your creativity soars. Add some imagination to your daily routine, and others are likely to relish the change. A new friend, if you are single, could emerge from out of the blue.

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19) ★★★ If you decide at the last moment to change your plans, do so. Spending some time in a different environment helps loosen up your creativity and thinking. You could come up with a solution to a problem that you had given up on.

CAPRICORN AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18) ★★★★ Be willing to approach an issue among close friends or family in a different way. Recognize that what you feel works might be perfect for you, but not for others. Imagine what they might need and why. A positive interaction becomes possible.

(Feb. 19-March 20)

★★★ Don’t worry if you feel less energized than you have in the past few days. Take some extra time to catch up on your budget and see how much flexibility you have. A last-minute vacation by the water could be just what you need.

PISCES