Boredom is the companion to misbehaviour

Q: The summer is barely half over and I am already fed up with my kids. They are 6 and 9, and fight constantly. How do I get them to understand they are lucky to have the summer off and they need to get along? I can’t wait for school to start.

A: If you are looking forward to school starting, I have to guess that this is due in part to getting the kids out of the house, and that their behaviour is likely better during the school year.

When we look at the difference between the school year and summertime, we know that school tends to structure the child’s time, keep them occupied and engage their mind. Summer is often unstructured, and with no particular ongoing planned activity, the kids can be unstimulated and restless.

The fighting between your kids may offer a way to discharge their restlessness and give them something to do. It also engages you, as the parent, to intervene. It can be an outcome of boredom.

Think less in terms of punishment or consequences and more about how they can spend their days. Activities do not have to be expensive. Consider a trip to the dollar store to pick up arts and crafts materials, nature walks and bike rides, or play dates.

Virtually every community also has recreation centres where your kids can enrol in groups with other children their age.

While you may want your kids to come up with their own ideas, they don’t necessarily have access to resources and, in their boredom, may have difficulty. Have a brainstorming session with them, developing a plan for activities. Telling them to have fun just isn’t enough sometimes. We have to help make it happen.

Once they are stimulated and engaged in having fun, their behaviour may settle down.