Oh say can you see it now?
Good luck throwing ’em the old dark one now.
Two Chinese baseball enthusiasts have come up an LED-illuminated baseball — called SparkCatch — made for playing catch at night. They say it can even withstand being hit by a bat.
Headlines
— At TheOnion.com: “Jimmy Butler gives Wolves list of 29 preferred trade destinations.”
— At Fark.com: “Christian Yelich hits for the bicycle.”
Sports quiz
A group of Pro Football Hall of Famers say they want health insurance coverage and their own slice of NFL revenues, or else they will:
a) Boycott future HOF induction ceremonies
b) Attend future HOF ceremonies — and bring Terrell Owens with them
Catch this
The Paradise Valley, Ariz., home that Cardinals receiver Larry Fitzgerald is putting on the market for $5 million (U.S.) boasts seven bedrooms, eight bathrooms, a 12-car garage and a wine room that will hold 1,200 bottles.
And, we presume, no shortage of yards.
Bucking the trend
More Americans are “unretiring” and going back to work, according to a new report.
“Oh, yeah?” said Le’Veon Bell.
Roll player
Coca-Cola is reportedly eyeing the cannabis-infused drink market.
We see an endorsement opportunity in Josh Gordon’s future.
Fact of the Week
It took Tigers pitcher Dennis McLain just 49 more days to post his 30th victory in 1968 than it took the Orioles to win their 30th this season.
Sack watch
The new Apple watch has a function that detects when its wearer falls down. Russell Wilson’s, after 12 sacks in two weeks, is already in the shop for repairs.
Twitter talk
— Seattle Times reporter Bob Condotta, on Captain Munnerlyn (2012) and Prince Amukamara (2018) accounting for the only regular-season interception TDs thrown by Seahawks QB Russell Wilson: “So yeah, he’s been picksixed by a Captain and a Prince.”
— LowkeyNerdyOG, on sprinter Usain Bolt losing one of his nine Olympic gold medals because relay teammate Nesta Carter failed a drug test: “This is why I ... hate group projects.”
Cutting the cards
A gem-mint 1980 Larry BirdMagic Johnson Topps rookie card just fetched $125,200 (U.S) on eBay.
Just imagine how many millions of dollars got shredded way back in kids’ bicycle spokes.
Have a seat
The Jameis Winston-Wally Pipp analogy is nice except ... Pipp got benched because of a headache — and Winston assaulted an Uber driver.
Injury of the Week
Colorado’s costumed mascot Chip The Buffalo had to be carted off the sideline after he shot himself in the groin with a T-shirt cannon during the Buffs’ 45-14 football win over New Hampshire.
Even worse, Chip now falls into the fetal position every time the Buffs line up in the shotgun formation.
Bank shot
Twitter give-and-take between Buffalo-based M&T Bank and SportsPickle.com:
M&T: “Show your Bills pride. Get up to $250 when you open any personal chequing account and make qualifying direct deposits.”
SP: “It has a 0 per cent interest rate in honour of Vontae Davis.”
QB, or not QB
Browns coach Hue Jackson says he’s not ready to commit to rookie Baker Mayfield as his starting QB despite the fact Mayfield led the team to all 21 of its points — and connected on 17 of 23 passes for 201 yards — while the injured starter Mayfield replaced just before halftime, Tyrod Taylor, accounted for zero points and hit on 4 of 14 throws for 19 yards.
Jackson was last seen being ushered into a blue sideline tent.
Quote marks
— Comedy writer Brad Dickson, on how to spot the fantasyfootball players in a sports bar: “They’re the ones screaming ‘YES!’ when somebody runs for three yards off-tackle with two minutes left and the score is 44-6.”
— RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, after Brit Jamie Buckland broke the Guinness world record for fastest marathon by a man dressed as a French maid: “Not only that, he dusted the competition.”
— Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on Sports Illustrated dedicating a special issue to the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry: “Well, it’s about time those two teams get some attention.”
— Boeing writer Dan Raley, via Twitter, on Mariner save artist Edwin Diaz’s nickname: “Sugar is what you call your wife when you’re being annoying — not the greatest closer in baseball.”
— Raiders coach Jon Gruden, to reporters, on why his team has only two sacks in two games after trading away Khalil Mack: “It’s hard to find a great pass-rusher.”
— Jim Barach of JokesByJim.blogspot.com, after ex-NBA player Matt Barnes claimed he smoked pot before every game: “Pick-and-roll your own.”