Haunted by childhood abuse at hands of father

Q: I am in my 50s and I was molested by my father when I was a child. I still haven’t told anyone, and he is long gone. Do you think it would still be helpful to talk with someone about this?

A: The fact that you ask the question suggests that you are still affected by what transpired. And that you haven’t told anyone also speaks to the shame and culpability experienced by many targets of sexual abuse.

It’s as if ghosts from the past continue to haunt you.

This is the real tragedy and impact of childhood sexual abuse. It can cause lifelong issues. It is not all about the harm in the moment, but the impact on relationships and self-esteem for years to come.

Many folks do find it helpful to discuss the abuse and its impact on their life. It helps to gain perspective and to free oneself from shame and blame that should only reside with the perpetrator.

Discussing the impact of the abuse can also help you to understand previous life choices and relationship issues in order to learn to make healthier choices.

Seek a counsellor who is experienced in, and comfortable with, addressing issues relating to childhood sexual abuse.

They should be able to help you understand the context and dynamics of victimization.

Old wounds can still be healed.