Yoga teacher lust: Ask Ellie

DEAR ELLIE

I’m 37, a mother of two very active young sons in primary grades, in a two-income marriage and very busy scheduling taking the kids to their swimming lessons, basketball and hockey games.

My outlet from the stress of balancing work, kids and household is yoga. I joined a club and am committed to the classes. That’s how the trouble started. The yoga teacher took an interest in me, which I initially thought was just kind and helpful.

But I foolishly agreed to stay late after an evening class “to talk.” I’m ashamed to admit I ended up letting him kiss and fondle me, until I suddenly snapped to reality and bolted.

I love my husband and don’t want to end my marriage. I’m terrified he’ll find out somehow and be devastated. I’ve been cool with the instructor since, rushing away after class, and he’s got the message. What should I do to assure it’ll never be known? Why did I even let it happen?

A. Find another yoga club. There’s no way to assure that he won’t talk about you or try again while you’re still in his sights. You had a moment of dangerous distraction from your main goals. Consider it an escapist moment of lust — something you’d feel very hurt by if you discovered that your husband was in a similar incident.

Time to look closer at your overscheduled life. Talk to your husband about this. Perhaps you’re both overly hyped about your children’s achievements at this stage, instead of focusing on just one or two of their interests. You’d both benefit from seeing a counsellor to discuss ways to make your marriage and parenting more about togetherness with a more relaxed schedule.

Also, develop your network of friendship and support with other busy mothers who rely on each other for relaxing and sharing common concerns.