The overused lines that mean nothing in dating
Avoid making general statements and instead be specific with your likes and dislikes by providing examples
It’s funny how we’re all so different in real life, but when it comes to online dating, so many of us sound exactly the same.
If you’re on any of the online dating sites or apps, then you know what I’m talking about. People often write overused expressions and clichés to try to be more inclusive or get more matches, which often backfires. People want to see the real you, quirks and all, even if it means excluding someone. Overused lines don’t work. Let’s look at some of the biggest offenders:
1. I like to laugh and have fun.
The absence of saying this does not mean that you don’t like to laugh and have fun, so it’s unnecessary. If you do, in fact, like to have fun, then let’s talk about what you like to do for fun. Comedy shows? Renaissance festivals? Walks along your favourite trail? All provide so much more detail than a generic “fun” statement.
2. I’m just as happy with a night on the town as I am staying in.
Is that really true? If you want to be one with your couch every Saturday at 4 p.m. watching your DVR’d episode of “Dancing with the Stars,” then say that! Yes, most of us can be happy out some nights and in others, but that doesn’t set you apart. Does “out” mean an art gallery or your neighbourhood
Mexican place? Does “in” mean reading a book on the couch or bingewatching all the seasons of “Ozark”? Big difference.
3. I love trying new restaurants.
Many of us do. What’s your favourite cuisine? Do you cook, too? How about saying, “I’m trying to replicate the best lasagna I had in Italy. It’s a work in progress ...” or “I’d always rather try a new
place or a new dish (most recently alligator!) vs. going back to an old standard.”
4. I love to travel.
For this one, I give the same advice as the point above. Be more specific. Are we talking about weekend road trips or skiing in the Alps? Trips to the beach or active adventures? Both constitute “travel” but mean very different things.
5. I’m looking for someone who doesn’t take life too seriously.
I don’t actually know what this even means. Or, even if I do, it probably means something different to someone else. Leave this out and add something unique about yourself. Even a slight variation to “I’m looking for someone who can watch a sad movie, make a joke, and laugh/cry at the same time” paints a clear (and adorable) picture in our head, unlike the original generic line.
6. I’m looking for someone to grow old with.
Are you trying to say that you’re looking for a long-term relationship? It’s OK to say that. No need to use a cliché when you can say what you’re actually looking for.
7. My family and friends are so important to me.
I think most of us can say something similar, so saying this loses its importance.
Take a look at your profile on whichever dating site(s) you’re currently using, and see if you have any of these overused lines. Is there a way to change them around to make yourself stand apart? As a test, when you’re out and about, look at the person next to you (who you presumably don’t know) and ask yourself, “Could this person have written the same profile as me?” If the answer is yes, then let’s do something about it.