An obituary that appeared in the Spectator is causing quite a stir around the world //
In getting it wrong, we got it so right, said Brian Hicks, of a Hamilton Spectator story on his mother Sybil Hicks’ obituary which was on thespec.com this week.
The story indicated that Sybil Hicks wrote her own obituary, which ran in The Spectator’s classified section on Monday (Feb. 4). Understandable as the obituary was, indeed, in the first person, and hilariously personal in tone, with her husband Ron Hicks, of Ancaster, being endearingly referred to as the “horse’s ass,” and with the deceased saying she had the “hot” body she’d always dreamed of, having just been cremated.
The obituary was, in fact, written by her children, chiefly daughter Barbara with input from Brenda and Brian.
“But I really think mom was directing Barbara’s hand,” said Brian, who lives in Devon, Ontario. Mom died Feb. 2 at the age of 81.
“It (the obituary) is exactly her voice.” She couldn’t have written it herself, he explained, because she had Alzheimer’s for the last 18 years, but it’s what she would have written if she could have.
“We decided the boilerplate obituary wasn’t mother. Since we didn’t have the opportunity to
communicate with her with lucidity at the end, we decided this is one way we can have a final conversation with her and listen to her stories,” said Brian, the emotion sometimes creeping into his voice as he spoke to us by phone just after Sybil’s funeral at Reynolds Funeral Home, in Bracebridge, Thursday.
But they had the permission of their father Ron who, according to Brian, said, “You did a great job. I hope the service is just as
hilarious.”
And it was, said Brian. In the service, “Barb carried on as if an extension of the obit, not in first person, but it definitely had the voice. The funeral home said they’d never had so much fun. The minister picked up on the horse’s ass and referred to my father that way (playfully, of course). Everyone said, with no exceptions, on social media that they had never seen a life celebrated so poignantly and hilariously.” There were some unexpecteds at the funeral, he added. A bouquet from a stranger in the United Kingdom. And from the Reddit community. That’s because after the story ran on The Spec website, it flew off into the media stratosphere. CBC’s popular As It Happens show did a piece on it. Most recently it has been picked up by Fox News. A story appeared in The Daily Mail in Britain. Not only that, it’s become a social media sensation. “My dad is a technophobe,” said Brian, “and he said to me there were 18,000 thumbs up on Reddit and yesterday he wouldn’t have even known what that meant.”
And it’s all, he said, because of The Spec running the obituary and the story online. “My mother didn’t know what the internet was but in one day she made more than 30,000 friends on it.”
Sybil was born in the Hamilton area and graduated from Waterdown High School. She graduated from the nursing program at Hamilton General Hospital in 1957. She and Ron moved to Baysville in Muskoka to run a school bus company in 1972. She also was an active volunteer. They had five children.
The picture of Sybil that ran with the obituary, mugging it up, fill out the picture of a fun-loving woman with a terrific sense of humour. “Some people (on social media) said she reminds them of (famous actor/comedian) Melissa McCarthy.”
And just to explain about Dorothy (mentioned in the obit), Brian added, she is a longtime family friend and a companion for Ron. “If I can, I’d really like to say thank you to everyone who reached out to us.”