Has your stress gone viral? Remember to reach out

Dear Readers: The stress is getting to many of us.

COVID-19 has wrought, along with fear of contracting the virus or having it strike someone close to you, a disturbing level of uncertainty and pressure.

We don’t know whether “opening up” some businesses and easing social distancing will assure that we’ll be safe before there’s a vaccine available … in a year or longer. Meanwhile, stress lives within and strains our relationships.

One woman writes: “I can’t believe how controlling my husband is about every decision regarding our being stuck at home. If I want to order groceries, he insists on shopping in a store, which worries me more. We’re constantly arguing. We won’t last this pandemic.”

A single woman, used to regular gym workouts, constant social media connecting, the bar scene and swiping for dates, writes that she’s depressed. “My life was so full and now it feels empty. I’m constantly alone and hating it.”

A couple whose children and grandchildren can’t visit them in person for fear of passing on the virus, say, “It feels like a punishment for being old.”

As I read their letters, I, too, feel the stress of responsibility, to give advice that has meaning in the midst of so much uncertainty.

Of course, there’s always been stress in our lives. It’s a normal response to situational pressures. But this one calls on all the inner resources we can muster.

To the woman who feels ready to end her marriage of constant battles for control, I say, you’re both too stressed to handle it. Agree to disagree, find time/place to be “apart” even if living in a small apartment. When this difficult time has passed, you’ll both know if it’s a signal to be grateful together, or you’re just not well-matched for rising above a crisis together.

To the young woman, alone and bored: You have so much to contribute of yourself, with the ability to bring energy to any project that you choose.

You and your social media network have the strength of numbers and creativity to support front-line workers with campaigns to feed them, with making art/ music to encourage them, and with raising donation funds to help the most vulnerable such as homeless people needing safe shelter.

Unfortunately, our elderly generation living in nursing and long-term-care homes, have every right to stress as their exposure to the coronavirus was ill-met with understaffed facilities, lack of protective gear for nurses and caregivers, and lack of staff.

But to healthy seniors staying at home, I remind you that your families are protecting you by not visiting and potentially spreading the virus.

However, you do need virtual contact with relatives, friends, and neighbours, easily available through your phones and social media.

There are so many antistress online resources available to us all — including social workers, psychologists, addiction and smoking cessation counsellors, telehealth conferences with medical personnel, fitness instructors, and far more.

Ellie’s tip of the day

Coronavirus stressed? Hang in and reach out. There are online resources for most concerns. We are in this together.

Dear Readers:

In my May 11 column, I published a reader’s letter regarding the effects of the pandemic, in which she used a repetitive poetic phrase, “because one person got sick,” all that was comforting and familiar in our world has changed.

I read her buildup of day-to-day losses that we’re all experiencing — seeing adult children/grandchildren, being able to grieve — certain that she was aware like everyone else, of the true statistics. In Canada alone: 69,157 confirmed cases, 4,907 deaths, as of May 11.

I now regret not adding to her column, my own advice urging that all of us need to stay positive, and follow the advice of health experts and civic leaders to guide us to safer and better times.

Ellie Tesher