The Hamilton Spectator

Just ignore derision about your mask

- LISI TESHER ELLIE TESHER AND LISI TESHER ARE ADVICE COLUMNISTS FOR THE STAR AND BASED IN TORONTO. SEND YOUR RELATIONSH­IP QUESTIONS VIA EMAIL: ELLIE@THESTAR.CA OR LISI@THESTAR.CA

Q I know everyone thinks COVID-19 is over, but it just isn’t. The more people I speak to, the more I hear that people are getting it, maybe even for the second or third time. It’s contagious. I’m not health compromise­d in any way, but I really don’t want to be sick.

I had COVID-19 at the beginning of last year, and I was in bed for almost five days straight, very weak for another week and only working at half-mast for the third week. It really took me a month to fully recover.

I wear a mask when I go into small places with strangers or large places with lots of people. I’m usually the only one. I don’t care. If it helps, it helps.

This morning I went to a coffee shop I’ve only been to once before. It’s on the other side of town, but I had an appointmen­t nearby. I walked in wearing a mask, ordered my coffee then lifted my mask to taste it before I left.

As soon as I did, a woman nearby muttered under her breath, but loud enough for me to hear, that I was a “poser,” and then went on to explain, not sure to whom, that meant I was just wearing my mask because I was high and mighty.

I pretended not to hear, put my mask back on and left. What was that all about?

Cautious Not Posing

A From the beginning of the pandemic nearly three years ago, there have been people who don’t believe it’s real. People who believe it’s all a government-funded ruse. Conspiracy theorists.

And even some who do believe that COVID-19 is a real health issue don’t believe in being vaccinated and disagree with the rules around the vaccinatio­ns. Anti-vaxxers.

And then there are some who believe it’s real, get their vaccines but don’t believe in wearing masks. Anti-maskers.

You do what is right for you and don’t let anyone else tell you what you are doing is wrong. It’s not wrong. It’s what makes you feel safe and protected. Ignore the agitators. Hold your head high, mask on and get on with your life.

Reader’s Commentary “I want to thank you for publishing ‘Happier not Knowing’ (Dec. 3) and the Feedback (Dec. 23). The author of that letter was my husband who found it very therapeuti­c to write out his thoughts, frustratio­ns, etc.

“Your response meant a lot to him. “Unfortunat­ely, George lost his battle to cancer and passed away December 14.

“He read your column regularly as do I.” Lisi I am so sorry for your loss. Your husband sounded like a remarkable man with strong morals and ethics. I’m glad he got to get all of that turmoil out before he passed. May he rest in peace.

Reader’s Commentary Regarding the woman happy on her own, but harassed by others (Dec. 26):

“As a youngish widow myself, I suggest the response she was looking for is ‘Why should I be a stage manager for some man’s life when I can be the star of my own?’ ”

Reader’s Commentary Regarding the woman missing her mom who passed away (Dec. 23):

“I lost my mother 26 years ago when I was 18. I remember being overwhelme­d by sadness often, but for me, this was comforting. I wish it would still happen on occasion, as I still miss my mother very much.

“The overwhelmi­ng sadness was a way to show her respect, love and feel close to her despite her passing. It sounds like ‘Miss my mom’ is otherwise very well adjusted. You do need love and support, hobbies, etc. so that you don’t wallow in despair.”

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