True Happiness!

Shabnam Khan – Family Counsellor “Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose” For most people, feeling happy and finding life meaningful are both important and related goals. But do happiness and meaning always go together? Recent research suggests that while happiness and a sense of meaning often overlap, they also diverge in important and surprising ways. As one might expect, people’s happiness levels were positively correlated with whether they saw their lives as meaningful. However, the two measures were not identical – suggesting that what makes us happy may not always bring more meaning, and vice versa. To probe for differences between the two, the researchers examined the survey items that asked detailed questions about people’s feelings and moods, their relationships with others, and their day-today activities. Feeling happy was strongly correlated with seeing life as easy, pleasant, and free from difficult or troubling events. Happiness was also correlated with being in good health and generally feeling well most of the time. However, none of these things were correlated with a greater sense of meaning. Feeling good most of the time might help us feel happier, but it doesn’t necessarily bring a sense of purpose to our lives. Interestingly, their findings suggest that money, contrary to popular sayings, can indeed buy happiness. Having enough money to buy what one needs in life, as well as what one desires, were also positively correlated with greater levels of happiness. However, having enough money seemed to make little difference in life’s sense of meaning. People from wealthy countries tend to be happier, however, they don’t see their lives as more meaningful. While people from low income countries tend to see their lives as more meaningful. Although the reasonsns are not totally clear, this might be related to greater religious belief, having more children, and stronger social ties among those living in poorer countries. Perhaps instead of saying that “money doesn’t buy happiness,” we ought to say instead that “money doesn’t buy meaning.” Not too surprisingly, our relationships with other people are related to both how happy we are as well as how meaningful we see our lives. Feeling more connected to others improved both happiness and meaning. However, the role we adopt in our relationships makes an important difference. In addition, spending more time with friends was related to greater happiness but not more meaning. In contrast, spending more time with people one loves was correlated with greater meaning but not with more happiness. When it comes to thinking about how to be happier, many of us fantasize about taking more vacations or finding ways to avoid tasks. However, some tasks which don’t make us happy can, over time, add up to a meaningful life. Even routine activities - talking on the phone, cooking, cleaning, housework, meditating, emailing, praying, reading book and balancing finances - appeared to bring more meaning to people’s lives, but not happiness in the moment. To conclude, happiness can be attained in things which we already have but don’t realize the true meaning of this happiness unless we might be at the edge of losing it. Value and cherish each moment of those precious moments as they will not return