Mar­riage: A Safe Haven

The Miracle - - Women - By: Naima Shaikh http://www.islamicity.org/

Af­ter wit­ness­ing count­less un­suc­cess­ful or tu­mul­tuous mar­riages amongst fam­ily and friends I de­cided to write an ar­ti­cle about mar­riage. What is mar­riage? On the Face­book site: Lessons learned in life Inc. It states the fol­low­ing quote: “A re­la­tion­ship should be a safe haven not a bat­tle zone.” That is my def­i­ni­tion of mar­riage a safe haven. A good ex­am­ple of this def­i­ni­tion comes from Prophet Muhammed’s mar­riage with hazret Khadi­jah when the prophet first re­ceived wahi the first per­son he con­fided what he had wit­nessed was to his wife Khadi­jah who com­forted him and re­as­sured him that he wasn’t go­ing crazy and that he had in fact been cho­sen by God to carry out his work. In western me­dia one of the main fric­tions in mar­riage is cited as money. In Is­lam it says in the Qur’an 4:34 “Men are the pro­tec­tors and main­tain­ers of women, be­cause Al­lah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and be­cause they sup­port them from their means…” But what hap­pens when the hus­band does not have money or has very lit­tle money. Again we turn to the Prophet’s life for ex­am­ple. On one oc­ca­sion the Prophet’s wives de­manded money and goods to which the Prophet re­sponded by say­ing if they want money and goods he is will­ing to di­vorce them and will per­son­ally find rich men and marry them off to them. The wives re­sponded by re­tract­ing their de­mand for money and goods and chose to stay mar­ried to him.There is also the ex­am­ple of Khadi­jah who was a very wealthy lady and the Prophet’s wife she spent her money gen­er­ously on the Prophet and the cause of Is­lam. There is also ex­am­ple of Hazret Aisha and other wives of the Prophet who went with­out food for days but re­mained stead­fast part­ners for the Prophet. There is also the ex­am­ple of Hazret Asiya (Prophet Ay­oub’s wife) she shared a rich pros­per­ous life with Prophet Ay­oub but when dif­fi­cult times struck in the form of poverty and sick­ness she worked in peo­ple’s houses and sup­ported Prophet Ay­oub in ev­ery way, mean and man­ner she could. But in the face of ad­ver­sary not all women re­spond like Hazret Khadi­jah and Hazret Asiya. Prophet Ay­oub had sev­eral wives when dif­fi­cult times came namely poverty and sick­ness they all left him ex­cept Hazret Asiya who was a very pi­ous lady. Life has its ups and downs when look­ing for a spouse hus­band or wife in my opin­ion one should keep this in mind and look for a spouse on the ba­sis of their re­li­gios­ity not for some­one who is only go­ing to be there for the good times and is nowhere to be found when dif­fi­cul­ties arise. Or turns into a hideous mon­ster when poverty or sick­ness strike.Liv­ing in this day and age where so­cial ills are ram­pant I strongly urge ev­ery­one whether sin­gle or mar­ried to read Prophet Muhammed’s bi­og­ra­phy and bi­ogra­phies of other Prophets such as Ay­oub and Yusuf and Yaqub to gain in­sight and in­spi­ra­tion from their lives and how to deal with var­i­ous dif­fi­cul­ties in life es­pe­cially mar­i­tal life. Please Note: The ar­ti­cle though meant for both men and women fo­cuses more on the role of women in mar­riage and mone­tary is­sues

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