Graduation threatens to end sisters’ every day closeness

DEAR ABBY: My sister “Maddy” is in 12th grade and will graduate soon. Over the last two years, we have grown really close – from eating Chinese together every other day, to going shopping together.

We have the closest relationship in the family, and I consider her to be my best friend.

Although I have many close friends, her being my sister makes her the closest to me.

Lately I’ve been mad at her. I thought for a while it was because she got a boyfriend, but her boyfriend is like a brother to me and we get along great. After hearing her say, “Only a couple of more months till I’m done with school forever,” I have realized I’m mad because she’s graduating soon.

I have two younger sisters, but we aren’t nearly as close as Maddy and I are. For the past month, I’ve been saying no when Maddy and her boyfriend ask me to hang out with them. I’m afraid that because of this I’m going to lose the bond I have with my sister.

I don’t want her to graduate because it means she’ll be moving away, and I won’t get to see my best friend every day. I don’t know whether to be happy about her graduating, or angry. Please help me. – MIXED UP IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR MIXED UP: Try to be happy for your sister. Explain to Maddy why you have been behaving the way you have so she will understand.

From your description of your emotions, it appears you may be suffering from a version of emptynest syndrome. It’s a malady that often strikes parents when their child is about to “launch.” An effective way to counteract it is to find activities you enjoy and keep yourself busy so you will have less time to brood.

Another thought: this is now your chance to be the supportive oldest sister in the house, and to forge a closer relationship with your younger siblings. It’s an opportunity that may reap big dividends in the future, so please don’t waste it.