Sweethearts struggling with a 30-year age gap

DEAR ABBY: I’m in my late 20s and have a male companion who is 30-plus years older than I am. We were together for a while, then stopped so we could both try to find someone closer to our ages. Neither of us did, and we recently started seeing each other again.

Although we are good for each other and compatible in many ways, we are realistic that our relationship isn’t long-term for major reasons. (I want children; he’s happy with grandchildren. He wants to travel after retirement; I’m just starting my career.) We live for the moment and don’t dwell too much on the future.

My problem is, this time I’m really falling in love with him. Last time, I was reluctant to become emotional because I was afraid of getting hurt. But this time, I am all in. Can any good come of this? We meet each other’s relationship needs in the here and now, but is the end just heartbreak? – LOVING FOR THE MOMENT

DEAR LOVING: It’s time for you to start compiling a list of the pros and cons of this romance. You and this man are at different stages of life and have very different goals. If you really want to have a family and a career, you will have to sacrifice something for it, and that “something” may be devoting much more time to this man. Sorry, but something’s gotta give.

DEAR ABBY: I have a good friend I always invite to attend parties and events. She invariably RSVPs accepting the invitation, but never shows up or explains her absence. This has been going on for years and it hurts my feelings. Do I have to keep inviting her? – COLORADO HOSTESS

DEAR HOSTESS: Allow me to offer you some insight: The woman’s behaviour is extremely rude. “Good friends” do not treat each other this way. If you’re asking my permission to scratch her off your guest list, you have it.

Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby. com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif., 90069.