The proverbial closet, a continuing story

Coming out of the closet is an age-old phenomenon that continues to plague members of society, most commonly in the LGBTQ community. One grows into some sort of maturity that seems to tell that coming of age gives one the opportunity and indeed the human right to live life as it should be lived. Opposition to revealing our most dark secrets remains at a high and needs to be addressed in positive ways. “Michael” feels he should finally come to terms with the fact that he is gay and decides to share this news with his family. Most commonly this secret is first shared with a sibling or a dear friend. He feels more confident that their reaction will pave the way to make this revelation to mom and dad. The process is dramatic and Michael has internal homophobia whereby he feels some guilt about his sexual orientation. He makes the first step and approaches his older sister. Mary tells him that this is not a great surprise to her because of some things he’s said in conversations such as, “Oh, I met a new friend today and I really like him, we like the same things and he has great looks.” It’s a dead giveaway to someone close to you and a sign of perhaps one’s attraction to the same sex. We cannot and should not judge according to how one looks, or how one speaks. However, content in one’s conversation may be telling. Mary asks Michael if he wants her to tell the parents and he readily agrees. It may simplify the shock, if indeed mom and dad are not on side. Luckily for Michael they take the news in stride and assured him of their continuing love and support. This is not always the case and the consequences may be dire. For many people, even today – though we may think sexual orientation and true gender identity or expression are no longer an issue – it remains a serious problem. Parents, siblings, friends, schoolmates and possible places of employment may keep an individual from “coming out of the closet.” Homophobia, biphobia and transphobia continue to be the causes of much discrimination in this world. One must believe in one’s right to be as one is meant to be, whatever the situation. To get to that point is a sometimes horrendous experience because of social rejection. It is of tremendous importance how one approaches this sensitive subject. Make certain the timing is right, along with the mood of those you wish to reach. Also remember that once you have made the move you will not automatically reach a positive conclusion, but in mind and body one knows the right decision was made and respect yourself for that. Stand firm and be decisive that this is you and you have established your existence, be it sexual orientation or gender identity. Many people feel that their sexual orientation is fluid and may at some point discover they are bisexual, a reality where physically and/or emotionally, one is attracted to either gender. Whatever the outcome, be true to your feelings and life will certainly be happier and fulfilling. Do not accept to be identified by others; identify yourself. Only you know who you are and be happy! Comments and information: lgbtconnectionsgv@gmail.com.