Figure skating, I’ll miss you most
In the wonderful Land of Oz that thus far have been these Winter Olympics, I think I’m going to miss figuring skating most of all.
I find it irrelevant how much we all secretly wait for the athletes to lose the battle with Newton’s most successful middle school science project. Frankly, to watch these athletes mask the most intense physical efforts and technical skills with artistic style — regardless of the Joan Rivers’ nightmare of bedazzled, wedgieencouraging spandex suits we have seen — when they land their elements I can’t help but smile.
I know, I know: What about the luge? We have shared several moments together attempting to understand and define the reasons why one would enter into the sport of luge.
Even more puzzling still why one would double down and take to an ice rollercoaster atop their drinking buddy. Perhaps it’s an existential comment regarding our inherent fear of dying alone. Or, simply, someone at Olympic headquarters scheduled the brainstorming meeting on new sports to try on a late Friday afternoon before a long weekend and everyone just voted yay.
Akin to how I’m sure the script for the movie Twins was given the green light.
Regardless, their feet-first approach at least lends to a certain ignorance is bliss acceptance of the worst-case scenario.
Braver still, the true optimists, headfirst and iron-willed are the skeleton athletes. Who I will forever assume spend their time on the course screaming bloody murder behind their visors and second-guessing most of their life choices that have led to this very moment. Perhaps they should have tried harder to make the hockey team. Or have become an accountant.
But again the true heart of these Olympics I feel needs to go to the figure skaters. No other winter sport mixes artistry and forces its competitors to focus not only on training their bodies like the brute of a hockey player mixed with the elegant lines of a ballet dancer,
but also have skilful makeup expertise and the ability to contort one’s face better than any overlydramatic competitive cheerleader.
With beauty and grace, yes even the men, I have thoroughly enjoyed taking in the variety of programs.
I’m also a big fan of the switch from the use of glorified elevator music to songs with vocals. It has helped greatly in allowing me to remain conscious.