Flirtatious co-worker dials back after his ex returns

DEAR ABBY: I have a crush on a guy I work with. He has a kid, which actually doesn’t bother me. My problem is he has this ex who wants to get back together with him. They broke up because she was staying out all night and cheating. He used to flirt with me and text me all the time and offer me his hoodie. Now she’s sort of back in the picture and he ignores me and doesn’t return my texts. But when we see each other he starts flirting again, and we just click. We make sense.

I guess my question is, should I tell him how I feel before it’s too late or just keep it to myself? Should I risk everything and go for it? — UNCERTAIN IN NEW YORK

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Announce your feelings if you wish, but do not expect him to drop everything and rush to you. If he were interested in more than a workplace flirtation, he would be paying the same kind of attention to you that he did before. You need to understand that he and his ex obviously have some unfinished business together, regardless of her history of infidelity. Set your sights on someone else.

DEAR ABBY: All my mom does is talk about work. If we are having a conversation, she links every topic to her work and her coworkers. It is alienating my sister and me. When we tell her things about our kids — her grandkids — she still relates it to work.

Another thing: She’s constantly on her tablet for work or on Facebook. I live seven hours away from her. When we make the drive down, I don’t want to watch her on her tablet. If we try to confront her on anything, all she does is cry.

Mom and I had a good relationship before she took that job. Now she’s so negative that it’s difficult to want to talk to her. Where do I even start? — MISSING HER WHILE SHE’S HERE

DEAR MISSING: Rather than “confront” your mother, ask her what may have changed in her life since she took that job. Her focus may have shifted because that’s the centre of her activity. Conversations are two-way, and this may be all she feels she has to contribute on her end. As to her “hiding” behind Facebook rather than carry on a conversation with you, like many people, she may have become addicted to it and unable to tear herself away. However, you will never know unless you ask her calmly.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif., 90069.