A marriage made in heaven? John Dunnett

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Love (and snow and freezing rain) is in the air. As I write, a booklet has arrived on my desk with the title “Marriage – Made In Heaven-Encouragement For Greater Days Ahead.” It got me thinking about this phrase: “A marriage made in heaven.” What does this phrase really mean? It suggests the idea that God has brought two people together and they “just fit.” It’s a rather romantic idea, akin to “I found my soulmate.” It does little to highlight the wilful act of love and commitment that are at the core of good marriages. Marriage is a choice, a blessing and hard work. That may be why so many people don’t succeed with their first try or shy away from the whole idea of marriage and a lifelong commitment. So in this day and age where do we go for spiritual help with this thing called marriage? For me, it’s to Jesus and the New Testament of the Bible where marriage and love are spoken of as real acts of commitment, sacrifice and caring. God never made marriages in heaven. The biblical record shows marriage as a commitment of love in the here and now. In fact, when Jesus was asked about marriage in heaven he said there would be no marriage there, as we know it (Matthew 22:30). Yet he uses the image of marriage to speak of his connection to those who choose to follow him, those who are moved to love and commitment by His Holy Spirit. In this spiritual commitment founded on honesty, confession, repentance, forgiveness and love, there is much that can be foundational to shape who we become when we enter a marriage relationship and live life in that commitment. Think again of those words. Honesty is the freedom and willingness to be open about who I am as a person. Confession is the courage to own my mistakes. Repentance is the desire to change who I am to avoid those mistakes in the future. Forgiveness is the ability to let go of my mistakes and the mistakes of others. Love is the choice to give my best in commitment to someone else. These are all values I have learned in connection with Jesus and they are the stuff of a great foundation for marriage. Maybe marriages aren’t made in heaven in the “romantic” sense, but the real stuff that makes for a good marriage comes from Jesus. Since Jesus is God come to us to show us His love, save us from our errors and “sin,” and give us the new inner life of His Kingdom, I guess it may be true that the stuff of a great marriage does come from heaven. So maybe I will take a look at this booklet. Perhaps it would be good for my spouse and me to look at it together. It’s always good to look to Jesus to shape the spirit of our love for one another. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.

“Honesty is the freedom and willingness to be open about who I am as a person.”