Lazy niece qualifies as home intruder
ASK AMY
I have a niece who lives with me. She is 22 years old, and she is the laziest person ever.
She is manipulative, jealous, self-centered, dirty, lazy, a liar, a user, and she basically thinks the world revolves around her. Her mom has convinced her that she is a princess.
I don’t know what to say or do about it, but her living with me is a pain in the neck. I have my own three kids to pick up after, a house to clean, a husband to care for, and this young woman is living here for free. She won’t even clean a dish! What can I do? — HAD IT AUNT
You don’t provide any backstory, or say how or why this niece landed in your home, and so my answer is very straightforward.
Given your obvious and extreme dislike for your niece, and the fact that this is your home, it is not good for either of you to cohabit.
I don’t know if your husband has imposed this presence on you, or why you seem to lack the power to control who lives with you, but the obvious answer is to give your niece a move-out date with a little boot behind it.
The fact that you don’t know what to say or do about this makes you seem powerless in your own household, but if you are the adult who cooks, cleans, and manages the household, then you may have more power than you think.
You seem quite passive in terms of your expectations for your various family members. You are not a maid. You are a mom. There is a difference. You just need to realize it and be brave enough to say, calmly, “This isn’t working. It’s time for you to find another place to live.”
If your niece really is a manipulative mastermind, she will find somewhere else to light. This should not be your problem, but her mother might get involved.
I wanted to weigh in with an idea for “Want to be my Own Magic Wand,” concerning how to battle inertia at home.
The way I do it is to promise myself small rewards, once I’ve completed a chore. For instance, I’ll watch a favourite movie after I’ve cleaned the kitchen. — ALSO INERT
I sometimes play a favourite movie while I’m cleaning.