Talk about, don’t hide from, mental illness
They are Craig’ s Bike rs. Also known as Daddy’s Bikers.
They came together on Sunday morning to bike in the Ride Don’t Hide fundraiser for Niagara’s Canadian Mental Health Association. They wore T-shirts hand-crafted with markers and love, by two young girls in memory of their father, Craig Steeves.
On the right side of their drawings is their dad, blue shirt and pants, smiling. On the left is his red bike.
His family rode together on the fivekilometre route that started from a parking lot at Brock University. His brother, Brad Steeves. Father, Brian Steeves. Wife Kristin Monaco. His two girls, Alexa, 6, and Kaitlyn, 9. His nieces, nephews and friends. Everyone, together. In May 2016, Craig Steeves died by suicide. He was 35.
His family wants people to know that it’s OK — indeed imperative — to talk about mental illness.
“We want to spread the word and break the stigma,” said his older brother, Brad, 39, of St. Catharines.
“We want to share it out there, that there are people willing to listen.”
More than 170 riders and 90 volunteers participated in the third annual Ride Don’t Hide, and raised more than $28,200 and counting for the local CMHA’s community support programs. Online donations are still being accepted.
Last year, the CMHA supported more than 4,500 people, through such services as counselling, employment and crisis intervention.
One in five Canadians will experience a mental health issue in their lifetime. One in three will actually seek help, said Tara McKendrick, interim executive director.
Often, stigma and lack of awareness prevents them from getting the help they need, she said.
Most mental health concerns are treatable, she added. “There is hope for recovery.” Without help, there is hopelessness and isolation, said Jennifer Fisk, president of the organization’s board of directors.
“People are not fully participating in life,” she said. “It’s just an existence.
“We want to show you that there’s more than just surviving day to day.”
For most of 57-year-old Margaret Arnold’s life, she hid from the world in her bed.
“I spent my life hiding,” she said. “When you spent all your time hiding in bed, what do you remember about life?”
She was 50 years old when her youngest son moved out west, and the world finally crashed down on her. It’s been through hard work, and a combination of medication and counselling that she has been able to be engaged in life.
She is volunteer chairperson of the CMHA’s Client and Family Advisory Committee, and came out to the bike event to help direct riders. She has a voice. And a message to spread.
“Talking about it, it’s not a secret you have to hide,” she said. “In my conversation now, I say, ‘I live with depression.’
“It means we’re not feeling the shame and the stigma,” she said. “The shame of stepping out your front door and having a stamp on your forehead that says ‘failure.’ “Now, I can be honest.” And that’ s what Brad Steeves wants, too. Honest, open conversation about mental illness.
His brother was like a best friend. They watched Raptors games and other sports. And since the brothers lived just a couple minutes apart, they’d get together on the backyard patio for Sunday-afternoon-just-because beers. The entire family camps together at Sauble Beach, and last summer they spread some of Craig’s ashes there.
His family tried to help Craig, and often felt a sense of helplessness for not being able to make him better, said Brad. He doesn’t want to hide. “We’ve been through it. There’s no judgment,” he said.
“There’s always an open line.”