Newcomer’s negligee appalls club members

ASK AMY

A couple, “Mark and Rhonda,” just moved into our area. My husband and Mark are going to be business associates, so I contacted them by phone and introduced myself to Rhonda, offering to take them to our social club for dinner.

I told her that there was a dress code at our club: men wear ties and jackets, and ladies wear dresses or dressy pants suits.

We got to the club to find that they had arrived early. Rhonda was wearing a black nylon negligee! This was not a dress. She was nearly falling out of it at the top, and everyone was staring and whispering.

I didn’t know what to do. We had a most awkward dinner.

At one point I leaned over to her and said that she might want to pull the top of her outfit up somewhat, as she was literally coming out of it.

She told me matter-of-factly that she was proud of her body and didn’t care who knew it; and if anyone had a problem with it, it was their problem, not hers. I was shocked, to say the least, and am still embarrassed.

My husband went to their home for a work meeting and she greeted him wearing a similar frock — he gingerly raised this issue with her husband and he just said, “Well, she does look great, right?”

They are now asking us to meet them at a restaurant; I am running out of reasons to decline. They also want us to propose them for membership in our club (that won’t happen).

How should I have handled the night at our club, and what do I do now? I can’t introduce them to any of our conservative friends, although they keep hinting that they would like to meet people here. The business connection between the two men will have to go on, so I can’t really tell them that I don’t want to be involved with them ever again. I’d love to have your thoughts on this. — STILL SHOCKED

You could introduce this couple to your friends, as they have asked you to do — and let the chips (or other things) fall where they may. It is also completely your right to choose not to socially extend yourself further.

I suggest accepting their invitation to meet again, and if you are again so uncomfortable by “Rhonda’s” attire, you should be both polite and honest, saying privately, “You told me before that if anyone had a problem with the way you dress, it’s too bad. Well, I’m a modest and conservative person, and I find I do have a problem. I take full responsibility for my problem, and I am also uncomfortable spending time with you because of it.” Make buttermilk dressing ( below) and set aside. Preheat oven to 450 F (230 C). Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper. Roast zucchini, eggplant, peaches and onion on prepared baking sheet for 10 to 15 minutes, turning to roast foods evenly. Let cool slightly. Place corn, edamame beans and tomatoes in a large bowl and mix in roasted foods. Add avocado and mix in gently, then add dressing, blending it in gently. Serve slightly cooled. Buttermilk dressing: In a medium bowl, combine ½ cup (125 mL) plain yogurt ¼ cup (60 mL) buttermilk ½ cup (125 mL) finely chopped fresh coriander 2 tbsp (30 mL) maple syrup 1 tsp (5 mL) minced garlic 1 tbsp (15 mL) fresh lime juice 1 tsp (5 mL) fresh lime zest (grated rind) ¼ tsp (1 mL) smoked paprika, and a pinch of sea salt. Serves 8.